We’re ashamed to say we missed the Missoni madness.

Honestly, we didn’t think it was going to be that big of a deal. Colorful zigzag patterns? Target? Eh.

And we call ourselves shoppers. 

Still, we can take heart, we guess, that the Missoni craze took more than a few others by surprise. Namely, Target. Stores across the country sold out of the 400-piece Italian-designer collection in minutes and sales crashed Target’s website during release day. Word is Missoni items are now listed on eBay and Craigslist for three and four times their original list prices.  

But at Bliss, we’re nothing if not persistent. Using Bag Lady’s keen investigative skills (to locate leftover merch) and Shopping Siren’s keen driving skills (to get us there), we descended upon Target in Topsham this week, pumped, amped and ready to go Missoni or go home.

Sure, we just completed a road trip (here’s to you, Oxford!), but we couldn’t pass up the opportunity to visit Topsham. Missoni: Impossible? We think not.

For ease, Target has pulled all of its remaining Missoni clothing regardless of size or gender to the very front of the store, tossed a couple of Missoni kids’ shoes on a display and consolidated housewares to a single, scant endcap. That’s right. Get it while it’s still to be got.

* Missoni hair clip, $9.99

Single clips in black-and-white zigzag or colorful swirly patterns. For the girl who has everything, including great hair. Or opt for:

* Goody luxe salon hair clips, $4.64

Miss out on the Missoni hair clip (or can’t afford $10 for a single barrette) but still need something to hold that stunning updo? These could be for you. Brushed nickel appearance complete with a trio of faux pearls. Sophisticated and elegant, unlike the ones Shopping Siren remembers wearing once upon a time. (Let’s just say yellow plastic day-of-the-week barrettes aren’t going to accessorize her office outfit.) 

* Missoni three-piece stoneware platter, $19.99

Three small black and white platters whose patterns fit together to look like one large platter. The only problem is the pattern looks very — scarily — like a big spiderweb. Not exactly what you want to serve Thanksgiving rolls on. But Halloween cupcakes? Perfect.

* Missoni ties, $24.99

One of the few Missoni items we could truly call subtle. Handsomely striped ties in various colors and patterns, including deep blue pinstripe and brown with a purple zigzag that looked a little like a lightning bolt. We know a lightning bolt doesn’t sound subtle, but trust us. This is Missoni.

* Missoni junior’s blouse, $39.99

Purple, green and rose-colored career blouse for the teen set. It’s never too early to get them working. Especially when they want a blouse that costs $40.

* Missoni girl’s knit poncho, $39.99

On the spot, we wanted 6-year-old daughters with whom we could bake peanut butter cookies, read aloud “The Wind in the Willows” and dress in this soft, sweet poncho. Then, the moment passed. And, like, phew.

* Missoni cami panty set, $29.99

One of the few adult finds left on the pretty picked-over racks. If you do get this panty set, resist the urge to ask co-workers, “Hey, wanna see my Missoni?”

* Missoni kid’s floral trench, $44.99

Smart. Petite. The other girls in first grade will gush, “Your mom got to Target just in time!” Or opt for:

* Cherokee kid’s winter peacoat, $39.99

Hot pink or black. But really, hot pink.

* Missoni comforter, king size, $119.99

Classic Missoni. (Read: Not quite psychedelic, but close.) Green, purple and fuchsia in a swirly flower print that will perfectly match … well, not a lot. So redecorate around it. You know you want to. Or opt for:

Best find: Springmaid comforter, king size, $22.48

Red, orange and tan reversible, flower-print comforter (with pillow shams) on sale from about $80. A great budget alternative to the Missoni. And, dare we say, we kind of like it better. It’s soft, pretty and completely non-psychedelic. Also nearly $100 cheaper. Sold!

Think twice: Missoni floral black and white vase, $29.99

Octagonal, mid-size, thick-necked. In short, it looks like an urn. Albeit stylish and without a plug top that would seem handy in keeping one firmly inurned. Avoid awkward questions like, “Who’s dead on your mantel?” and “That was all the Missoni left? Eh.”

Bag Lady and Shopping Siren’s true identities are protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who ignore hype and words like “sit,” “stay” and “inside”) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach them at baglady@sunjournal.com and shoppingsiren@sunjournal.com.

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