LEWISTON — Even when it comes to real milk, it’s not always good to have that straight-from-the-barnyard taste.

No one goes “Ahh, wet straw! Gimme more of that!” Nor should they.

So, when the Sun Journal gathered a group of willing and thirsty taste-testers — assembled to sip and comment on milk substitutes available locally — no one expected to taste the barn.

But, they did.

Of the seven nondairy “milk” drinks — rice, soy, coconut, oat, flax, almond and hemp — several drew smiles. People said they were surprised by how tasty some were.

And one — Living Harvest’s “Tempt” Hemp Milk — drew grimaces and groans from everyone.

“It tastes like a horse barn,” said Corey LaFlamme, the Sun Journal’s community news editor. “And the aftertaste is worse than the beginning.”

“That’s not drinkable,” said Heather McCarthy, the paper’s senior designer, after her face stopped wrinkling.

“This is obviously the worst one,” Executive Editor Rex Rhodes said.

The products and the test

The taste test was conducted fairly, if not scientifically. Plain milk-substitute samples were used in each case (no vanilla or chocolate versions) and all were chilled to the same temperature. All but two were purchased locally at Hannaford; the oat and hemp milk were from Axis Natural Foods in Auburn.

Some of the beverages were organic, most were not. All had secondary ingredients, often vitamins. Some added sweetners. It was acknowledged that the taste of each type of milk substitute could vary by manufacturer.

In seven waves, participants were handed small cups with drink samples marked only by a number. Each person was asked to have a taste and write down a comment for each of the seven samples. Then, the participants ordered them according to preference, 1 being best, 7 being worst.

After all seven were sampled and commented upon, the identity of each was disclosed. The numbers were added up; the winning “milk” ultimately had the lowest score.

There seemed to be little correlation between taste and each drink’s health stats. Some had more sugar and fat than others. Some were high in protein, others not.

Calories for a one-cup serving ranged from 50 for the flax milk to 130 for the oat drink.

The bottom of the pack

The hemp milk was the clear loser. It was listed at the bottom of each ballot and earned 49 points, the maximum points possible.

The closest competitor earned 38 points, ranking in sixth place in six out of seven ballots. That was Pacific Natural Foods’ “Organic Oat Non-Dairy Beverage.” The drink is made from a variety of ingredients including filtered water, organic oat bran and organic oat groats, according to its carton.

“It tastes like a hippie’s armpit,” said Mark LaFlamme, the Sun Journal’s police reporter.

“It’s like something you have to take before a test at the doctor’s office,” said Ursula Albert, the arts and entertainment editor.

It had its defenders, though.

Sun Journal Transportation Director Bill McCarthy found the oat drink to have a consistency similar to milk and a sweet flavor; he listed it as his second favorite among those tested.

In fifth place was Silk’s soy milk.

“Nope. Don’t like it. Slight swampy aftertaste,” said SJ features designer Susan Broadbent. Bill McCarthy found it “chalky.” Albert said it tasted “fake,” and Rhodes said it tasted “earthy,” adding, “not in a good way.”

Heather McCarthy found it odd but pleasing.

“The more I taste it, I like it,” she said.

Nondairy’s top scorers

Only seven points separated the top four drinks.

In fourth place was Original Rice Dream with 22 points. Bill McCarthy called the rice drink “grainy,” but Mark LaFlamme said he liked its “nutty” flavor. “This one looks like regular milk,” LaFlamme said.

Albert and Corey LaFlamme rated it their favorite. “Smooth tasting. I liked it,” said Albert.

Tied for second place with 21 points each were Almond Dream and So Delicious’ coconut milk beverage.

LaFlamme the cop reporter thought the coconut milk’s color looked like Elmer’s glue and complained that he wouldn’t want the almond milk in his coffee.

Several people noted that the coconut milk was too sweet. But newsroom Top Dawg Rhoades said the coconut milk was his favorite: “Tastes like milk, only a little sweeter.”

Broadbent gave the almond milk her second-highest rating, guessing by its taste alone that it was almond based and saying, “Creamy, but a little watery.”

The top scorer was Flaxusa’s Flaxmilk with 15 points, including four first-place votes.

Bill McCarthy liked the flavor and the feel, saying it had the consistency of skim milk. Broadbent rated it “very good.” Mark LaFlamme also placed it at the top of his list, in a back-handed kind of way. “Didn’t make me gag. Very bland. Almost tasteless.”

Heather McCarthy said she felt she had found a drink that could be a regular part of her diet. She said it was nutty and delicious. “I could drink this one any day,” she said.

dhartill@sunjournal.com

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