RUMFORD — Americans first learned about Operation Enduring Freedom as they watched airstrikes on Kabul, Afghanistan at 5 p.m. Oct. 7, 2001. Ten years later Maine has sent scores of troops and lost 18 sons.

Currently, 90,000 U.S. troops are deployed in Afghanistan, according to NATO. What is left in the wake of that many troops carrying out a long tour — and sometimes multiple deployments — is the everyday activities that make a family.

“It’s not just the big things that make us realize how much we need, want, and love our soldiers being around,” said Jessica Lane, a former Peru resident now living in Germany while her husband is deployed in Afghanistan. “It’s the small things that usually make us realize it the most,” she said. “Like being sick. It sucks but I can’t take a break, not with four kids and one of them being a baby.”

Lane’s husband, Army Spc. Johnny Lane with the HHC 40th Engineers, is currently on his second tour in Afghanistan.

The Lanes have four children, Treyvon, 10, Tyesha, 8, Tia, 6, and Taliyah, 1.

Before the Internet and social media, families relied on news and waited weeks for letters from war zones. Now, soldiers are finding electronic ways to be with their loved ones.

Tara Korhonen, who grew up in Peru and now lives on base at Camp Lejeune, N.C., said she gets emails fairly regularly and has been able to Skype with her husband, Marine Sgt. Richard Korhonen, with the 2nd Light Armored Reconnaissance Battalion.

“It is more of a blessing for my boys,” she said. “He was able to see our son Korbin take his first steps.”

Richard Korhonen is on his second tour in Afghanistan. He also was deployed to Iraq in 2008.

Amanda Arsenault, wife of Marine Lance Cpl. Dustin Aresnault, said seeing a message on Facebook brightens her day. This is her husband’s first tour in Afghanistan.

“Sometimes he does not have access to the Internet, but when he does it is good to see that he has been on Facebook,” she said. “Even a little message saying hello is enough to brighten my day and make it go by easier.”

When a someone in the military deploys, it’s not just fear for their safety and missing time spent together that can stress out a partner. Everyday activities, such as parenting and car trouble, become a hurdle that’s not easy to climb.

“The most awkward thing I have had to do is go to the store to buy my son a cup for him to wear during sports,” Lane said. “My face was red when I had to ask one of the gentlemen there for his assistance. Those are really times I wish my husband was here.”

Arsenault said during family readiness day with the Marine Corps everyone said that car troubles would happen as soon as her husband deployed.

“Since my husband left in May I had nothing but trouble with my car,” she said. “After $2,000 later and a month without my car, I decided to trade it in and bought a new car all by myself. I felt like I was ready to conquer the world.”

Some Mainers feel the military has done its job and it’s time for the war to end.

“As a result of their efforts and the coalition they fought with, Osama Bin Laden is now dead and al-Qaida has been largely driven out of the country,” U.S. Rep. Mike Michaud said on Oct. 7, the 10th anniversary of the war.

“While our work to defend our nation against terrorism is an effort that must be ongoing, I believe our core mission in Afghanistan has been accomplished and that it’s time to bring our brave men and women home.”

President Barack Obama has implemented a plan to pull 33,000 surge troops out of Afghanistan by the end of 2012 and the remaining 68,000 by the end of 2014.

Arsenault, Lane and Korhonen said they stood by their husbands and were proud of their service, but at the same time they struggle with the idea of them being gone on multiple tours.

Korhonen talked about a quote she remembered hearing, a military wife will often hold her tongue, silencing a story, for fear of sounding unpatriotic.

“While I am so proud of Richard, it is hard,” she said. “I know that he is doing something that matters, whether people agree with the war or not. I will always support him, but I’m looking forward to him being stateside.”

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