Start wearing purple

A reader rant: “Have you noticed how the front facade of the Auburn City Building is illuminated after dark? A series of spot lights halfway up and across the front are pointed upward, and the lights are purple. The effect isn’t bad but why purple? Doesn’t that signify royalty or affluence? Maroon as for the high school might be more appropriate. The lights could project something like the Batman symbol — protecting Gotham City. They could be green to offset the city’s poor rep with recycling. Also, I know the staff has been cut to the bone, but perhaps we need a professional colorist.”

As a graduate of the Waterville High Night School Program, home of the Purple Panthers, I approve of this message. Or I’m opposed. Damn opposed. I don’t know. I didn’t read it all the way through.

Live and let live

Early in the week, five people, each dressed in black and each wearing a sombrero, were seen pushing a baby carriage into Gracelawn Cemetery in Auburn. Several people called police to report it. Will this harassment of cemetery-dwelling-Mexican-ninjas-with-babies never cease?

Beavis and Butthead

They’re back. Older, but back. I don’t see this show succeeding at all, given that the once-funny duo are now all grown up. Beavis is an architect these days, the father of three and an officer at his local Knights of Columbus. Butthead was a cop for a while, but found himself making serious money flipping houses, and now one of those girly channels is considering him for a reality show. Both of them quit smoking pot, although they do enjoy a nice wine with dinner. They get together once in a while, but hardly spend any time at all in front of the television. They play squash over at the Y or take in the occasional show over at Community Little Theatre. Butthead spends a lot of time at the gym – too much, really – while Beavis is into pilates and mediation. Yeah, that ought to be hilarious. Maybe MTV should think about changing their approach to entertainment. Hey! I know! They could try playing music videos.

Peas in an absurd pod

In a recent letter to the editor, the Rev. Doug Taylor opined that he and I are a lot alike when you get right down to it. I don’t completely disagree. If he really did take a leak on a fire hydrant, that’s something he and I have in common right there. But the real test will come on Halloween. If the good reverend shows up in Salem, Mass., wearing an oversized diaper and wax fangs, I’ll concede his point entirely. Of course, that would be embarrassing – that’s exactly what I’m planning to wear.

Adults only

In Sanford, city leaders expressed shock and disgust after learning that a swinger’s group had been gathering at a convention hall there. Adult, consensual sex, oh my! Swingers shopping at local stores, staying in local hotels, eating at local restaurants . . . I mean, gee. Talk about stimulating the economy.

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