First, let’s be clear: Shopping Siren loves Christmas trees. 

The scent of pine. The fun of rediscovering decades-old ornaments. The serenity of sitting by the fire, sipping hot cocoa and watching the lights twinkle on the tree.

However, there’s also the stickiness of sap to consider, the constantly dropping pine needles, and the sudden and dramatic crash at 3 a.m. as the Bliss Dobermans or Siren family cats play hide-and-seek among the branches.

Always 3 a.m.

Which is why Christmas trees, as wondrous and beautiful as they are, sometimes aren’t worth the hassle.

So what do you do when you want the Christmas tree spirit but not the trouble?

Two words: decorative tree.

Sure, it can feel like cheating, like bringing a box of store-bought chocolate chip cookies to the fundraiser instead of that batch of hand-cut Italian biscotti you were going to bake from scratch.

But some years you have the time/money/energy to create a full-on Martha Stewart Christmas. Other years, it’s better to set up a cute tabletop tree and call it good.

Because Christmas isn’t about the giant pine propped in the corner. Or twinkling lights. Or hot cocoa by the fire.

The Christmas spirit? It can fit on your coffee table.

* Wood tree, T.J. Maxx, $29.99

Twigs twist and curl to form a knee-high Christmas tree, complete with a twig star on top. Unique, artsy and cool. Three words never associated with your grandmother’s dusty old tabletop Christmas tree.

* Orange light-up tree, T.J. Maxx, $16.99

Yes, it’s about 2 feet tall and orangey, but it lights up! Don’t think of it as ugly. Think of it as post-modern.

* Illuminations lighted branches, T.J. Maxx, $12.99

Lighted branches in a natural tone with faux berries or sparkly-spray red, gold or brown. Whoever said a Christmas tree had to be the whole tree?

* Dr. Seuss-like green tree, T.J. Maxx, $24.99

Sparkly green metal-ish tabletop tree with curlicue ends where the branches would be. Looks like it jumped out of a Dr. Seuss book. Cindy Lou Who, this is for you.

* Card-holder tree, T.J. Maxx, $24.99

Metal tree dotted with faux crystals for a touch of glam. Forget boring old ornaments. This tree can be decorated with those touching holiday cards you’re getting from friends and family (and your dentist, oil company and that real estate agent you worked with three years ago).

* Carved wooden tree, T.J. Maxx, $12.99

Pretty tree carved from wood and painted green. Great for both traditional and modern homes. And only about a foot tall, which means it’ll clatter rather than crash when the pets knock it over. At 3 a.m.  

* Flat tinsel tree, Craft-Mania, $9.99

Green tinsel tree decorated with red, blue, gold and silver tinsel bulb cutouts. Hang on the wall or in a window. A little gaudy, but aren’t the best trees? Really?

* Decor tinsel tree, Dollar Tree, $1

Poofy tinsel tree in gold or gold and silver (additional colors online). Less than a foot tall, this tree is perfect to decorate an office, kid’s room or guest bedroom. Just don’t try to pile the presents around it. You might not find it again until Dec. 26.

* Classic Collection tree ornaments, two-pack, Dollar Tree, $1

Who says you must have one big tree? Grab a handful of these small white spiral-metal trees (with bells!) and hang them throughout the house. Trees in the kitchen! Trees in the living room! Trees in the bedroom, bathroom, basement! Their sheer numbers will dazzle. Just make sure to hang them high enough. If you get clocked in the head, that’ll dazzle, too.

Best find: Darice tree, Craft-Mania, $39.99

Green faux tree with realistic branches, needles and trunk. At about 6 feet tall, you could string it with lights, cover it with ornaments and top it with a star. Or leave it bare for a rustic look. No care, no set-up, no problem. A carefree Christmas like the ones we used to know. 

Think twice: Cone trees, T.J. Maxx, $12.99-$24.99

Hollow green cones covered in glitter and tiny sparkly beads. In small ($12.99), medium ($16.99) and large ($24.99). They sort of look like an elementary school holiday art project. So skip the cones and go for something more tree-esque. 

And when you’re done, grab some cocoa and sit by the fire. 

Shopping Siren’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who will find some way to play hide-and-seek, even with a tabletop tree) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her at shoppingsiren@sunjournal.com.

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