You just found out you’re going to be a grandparent for the first time, but your son and daughter-in-law live several miles away. You want to be a good grandparent, but how can you do so when you live so far away? It will take some time and a greater sense of commitment, but you can do it. Here are some tips.

Stay in contact. Call your grandchild often, write them letters or e-mail them. Include special notes, cards or words of wisdom. Record special messages on cassette tapes and send packages. Children love to receive mail addressed just to them.

Get to know your grandchild. Too many times grandparents learn about grandchildren through their children. Often they only hear the good things. Spend some time with your grandchild and find out who they really are, good qualities and bad. Listen to their stories and encourage them to talk about whatever they want with you.

Write down your family history. You might include funny stories about their parents as children or tell of the hardships your generation faced. Include any traditions your family might share. Give them a treasured keepsake with a tale about how it came to the family.

Share pictures. Send current pictures of yourself to your grandchild or an album of pictures from your past. Label or identify the individuals in the pictures and share any anecdotes about them with your grandchild.

Share your hobbies. Send your grandchild a small gift you have baked, sewed, knitted or carved, along with a letter about how you did so. Encourage them to take part in your hobby.

Learn your grandchild’s likes and dislikes. Ask them what kind of movies they like and rent a few of them. Then discuss them with your grandchild on the phone. Try some of their favorite foods, go to some of their favorite stores or take a look at some of their favorite Web sites.

Visit often. Set aside some time during your visit for your grandchild—take them shopping, go out to lunch or read them a bedtime story. Be careful not to step on any toes during your visit. Show respect for your son or daughter and for how they parent. Stay out of any disputes between them and your grandchild.

Arrange for your grandchild to visit you often. Make time for special activities, but don’t wear yourself out. Let your grandchild get to know you as you really are. Prepare some of your favorite foods for them, take them to some of your favorite places and share your favorite stories with them. Spoil them, but not too much.

Grandparenting from a distance is harder and requires much more of a commitment, but in the end, it is worth it. Not only do you get to know your grandchild for who they are, but they get to know you as you really are.