Many years ago, in the midst of a colorful exchange, Bag Lady may have flushed Mr. Bag Lady’s toothbrush down the toilet.

A plumber also may have been called to rectify the situation.

Mr. Bag Lady’s offense? (And surely you know there had to be one. Bag Lady is not the kind to wantonly dispatch home goods into the loo lightly.) He had used my toothbrush. Like, on his teeth.

Thankfully, both relationship and toilet recovered.

Flash-forward to last Sunday evening.

Bag Lady is getting ready for bed. Enters the bathroom. Um. Hollers to Mr. BL two rooms away:

“Where’s my toothbrush?”

Mr. BL: “I used it. On, something.”

This week: Toothbrush shopping at Walmart! I’ll say no more.

* Single, non-automated brushes, $2.47 to $3.97

The most expensive, Oral B Pro Flex, looked like it meant business (multiple colors/bristle lengths, an Olympic Games symbol that suggests tooth-brushing glory). The least expensive, Oral B Advantage Plus, looked sold out.

* Dr. Fresh six-pack, $1

Basic. Very basic. But hey, you get six. Party favors!

* Colgate 360 Sonic Power, $5 (or share with your spouse: 2/$9)

According to the package: “20,000 strokes per minute to remove more bacteria.” That’s a dizzying amount of clean.

* Arm & Hammer Spinbrush, $7.88

It earned points for being the only automated brush with a “try me” button. To watch the spin. I mean, otherwise, ew.

* Reach, 2-pack, $4.97

In new, limited-edition designs (pretty spotted, striped, floral, faux-wood) while they last. Seriously. Also, turns out half of the collection was designed by Bravo reality TV star Jeff Lewis. Bag Lady is a huge “Flipping Out” and “Interior Therapy” fan. No wonder I liked them!

Best find: Scope mini disposable brushes, four-pack, $1.74

With a pick, tongue cleaner and bristles pre-loaded with Scope gel. Clearly not for regular home use, but for a purse or a pocket, to whip out minutes before an interview or a makeup kiss, perfect.

Think twice: About ignoring thy mouth. Or clogging thy toilet unnecessarily.

Open up and say, ‘Free!’

Three Auburn dental offices will offer free cleanings, fillings, X-rays and simple extractions on Friday: Riverview Dental Associates from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m.; the Center for Advanced Dentistry from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m.; and Willow Run Dental from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. It’s first-come, first-served and part of the annual Dentistry With A Heart day.

Here’s looking at you, Bethel

Bag Lady and Shopping Siren are trying to plan a future virtual road trip and we’re eyeing greater Bethel. Have a favorite shop over that way or are you a retailer out there? Send us a link!

Bag Lady’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who will open up and say, “Aroooo!”) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her at [email protected].

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