Once upon a time, Shopping Siren owned the perfect swimsuit. It was pretty in pink, with a low-but-not-embarrassingly-low neckline and straps that were dainty and delicate but secure enough to hold everything in place through 20 minutes of breaststrokes-turned-doggy paddling.

Then, a week into summer, there was an unfortunate incident in which I hoisted myself out of the lake using an old wooden boat dock. A boat dock I didn’t realize was covered in grime and, apparently, edged with motor oil. Despite heroic stain removal efforts, my beloved pink suit went in the trash. 

That was 20 years ago.

I’m still looking for swimsuit perfection 2.0.

Over the years I’ve found, and bought, a collection of swimsuits, but none turned out to be The One. Frumpy ones, yes. Uncomfortable ones. Ones with tops apt to fall down at the most inopportune time — like all of the time.

But it’s summer again, and with summer comes a  whole new array of swimsuits. Surely there’s perfection somewhere. This year — this year! — I have hope.

And in case you lost your own beloved swimsuit to a freak dock incident/chlorine overload/school of enthusiastically nippy sunfish, here’s some shopping hope for you, too.

* TYR reversible one-piece swimsuits, Olympia Sports, $39.98-$44.98

In soft blue or pink (yay!) that reverse to black or geometric patterns. It’s like two suits in one! But warning: These swimsuits have no, er, support. Up top. That allows them to be reversible, but maybe not wearable for everyone. 

* Robby Len by Longitude one-piece swimsuit, JCPenney, $42

In various colors and patterns, though I was immediately drawn to a multi-blue suit with crisscrossing gold threads. These swimsuits are supposed to slim the wearer, which is a nice feature for those ladies who are tummy-conscious when wearing thin, skin-tight fabric in front of large groups of people in bright daylight. I can’t imagine who that would be.

* Bisou Bisou tankini tops, JCPenney, $18

Jewel- and neutral-color baby doll-style swimsuit tops. They’re long enough to cover the tummy area but also adorable and trendy, so a confidence-booster all around. Choose between shoulder straps or straps that can tie around the back of the neck in a cute, loose bow. Or the less-cute, tight double knot.

Pair with:

* Delta Burke swimsuit skirt, JCPenney, $22

In black and . . . black. But what these bottoms lack in color they make up for in versatility. The skirt, which comes in plus sizes, is flattering for all body types. The color (or lack thereof) means it will match almost anything. And the bottom can be a different size than the top. Huzzah! You might want to buy two in case of boat docks.

* St. John’s Bay secretly slender one-piece swimsuit, JCPenney, $30

One-piece suits with shirred waists to flatter and pretty prints to stand out in the crowd. Spaghetti straps come with the suit, but it’s up to you to put them on. Advice: Put them on. 

Best find: Fashion Bug black one-piece swimsuit, Fashion Bug, $38.99

Super-flattering black swimsuit with gathered fabric at the waist and a super-cute skirt. And the straps are adjustable! When was the last time you found a swimsuit with adjustable straps? In sizes 12 and up, including plus sizes for $1 more. The whole thing is as adorable as a tennis dress without sacrificing function. Perfect swimsuit 2.0, I think I found you!

Think twice: Allen B. black and white one-piece swimsuit, JCPenney, $30,

Low-cut (like, nearly-to-the-navel low), with little support, little coverage and a big, floppy bow at the waist. If you want to swim or lounge in the sun for long stretches without having to think about the girls and their, er, placement, you might want to throw on a different suit.

Though if you want to play around an old grimy dock, this might not be a bad choice.

Shopping Siren’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who want to go to the lake right now) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her at shoppingsiren@sunjournal.com.

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