It’s July: time to get your beach on. Keep one eye on the kids, half an eye on the grill, one quarter of an eye on your purse/beverage/the interloper 10 feet away (that scruffy blue cooler’s closer than it was a half hour ago; we’re so onto you, bub) and with that remaining quarter eye — aah! — dive into a really good read.

Hey, you deserve it.

Bag Lady and Shopping Siren are avowed bibliophiles, no news there, but summer is the perfect excuse to ask around, expand horizons and suss out whether you’re the only one who has not yet read “Fifty Shades of Grey.” (BL has not; BL’s mother-in-law has; all I need to know to be properly horrified.)

I asked friends on staff for their recommended beach reads. They shouldn’t be too hard to find: The Indie Store Finder lists 27 bookstores within 50 miles of Lewiston, including Books N Things in Norway and Devaney, Doak & Garrett in Farmington. There’s also BAM! in the Auburn Mall.

Wait just a sec.

Not one foot closer, pal! Jason, knock it off! Horseflies, will you go the @&!$! away?!

OK. Now we’re ready.

Happy shopping and happy reading.

Here’s to cracking a few spines!

* “Unnatural Deaths” by Robert G. Fuller

A murder mystery written by a retired Maine lawyer, endorsed by the mother of a co-worker who reads one book a day. Envy. Envy. Envy.

* “The Mirage” by Matt Ruff

A what-if-9/11-happened-the-other-way-around: The United Arab States has been attacked, an airliner crashed into the Tigris and Euphrates World Trade Towers by Christian fundamentalists.

Straight from the staffer: “I’ve read books by Ruff before — ‘Set this House in Order’ blew my mind and ‘Bad Monkeys’ was a lot of fun. He’s a quirky writer who does not mind twisting the plot in odd directions.”

 * “A Game of Thrones” by George R. R. Martin

SFTS: “You follow about a half-dozen characters through the land of Westeros as they maneuver through wars and intrigues created by the void of power when the king dies. I started reading the books after I fell in love with the HBO series. It will last you through weeks of beach days.”

* “In a Sunburned Country” by Bill Bryson

SFTS: “Besides a title that screams, ‘Beach!,’ the book is a travel memoir about Australia by a guy whose writing is always easygoing, funny and informative. His observations about Australia avoid the ‘G’ day’ stereotypes and share with the reader the unvarnished truth of what it’s like to be there. There are also kangaroos.”

* “The Monkey Wrench Gang” by Edward Abbey

Centered on a Vietnam veteran-turned-environmental activist, the Smithsonian called it “ribald, outrageous and, in fact, scandalous.”

Sounds like Bag Lady’s summer of 1988.

SFTS: A “hilarious read.”

* “A Discovery of Witches” by Deborah Harkness (and its sequel, “Shadow of Night,” just out Tuesday)

From Shopping Siren: “Forget ‘Fifty Shades of Grey.’ This is what women should be reading! A well-written, compelling romance/supernatural suspense/mystery about a vampire, a witch and a centuries-old mysterious manuscript. I couldn’t put this book down . . . only to be dismayed to find (at 3 a.m.) that it ended in a cliffhanger.”

* “Our Front Pages: 21 Years of Greatness, Virtue, and Moral Rectitude from America’s Finest News Source” by The Onion

Bag Lady’s pick. Larger than a laptop, this is, admittedly, unwieldy for a beach read, but if you have the room in your bag, it’s worth it. For those who enjoy sharp wit, have the time/attention span of a gnat — speaking of which, gnats, get out of here! And you, with your toe grazing my towel, move along! — it hits the beach-read spot.

Bag Lady’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who are excellent at reading people) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her at [email protected].