Oh boy, the moment you’ve been dreading has finally come. Your teen just asked you for permission to go on a date. Your first inkling might be to say no, but come on, they’re going to have to start dating sometime, and since they are going as part of a group to a school dance, you have less to worry about. You might as well take the plunge now and start laying the groundwork for what’s to come.

When you were a teen, the guys did the asking. Today, that’s no longer the case. Girls are just as likely to do the asking, sometimes as early as age 12 or 13. Generally, at this age, dating occurs in a group setting, that is, a group of friends pair up and get together for a night at the movies or the bowling alley. This kind of setting alleviates the pressure of being one-on-one with someone and gives teens an opportunity to get to know each other. Unfortunately, it also sets the stage for peer pressure. Teens in a group setting are more likely to succumb to peer pressure and do something they wouldn’t otherwise do. Talking to your teen before they go out about the social pressures they might face will help ensure they make the right decision should the situation arise.

Whether your teen chooses to go out as part of a group or a pair, you need to set some ground rules regarding where and when the date can take place. Public places are ideal, and depending upon the activity planned, you may want to insist on adult supervision. A couple of teens going to the movie theater might not pose as much risk as them going to a concert. In that case, you might want to escort your teen and their date to the concert, sitting several rows away from them. As for time, you probably want to insist on a time frame for the date when places are busier, say the early evening rather than the late night. Go ahead and set a curfew to ensure your teen is home at a reasonable time.

You might also want to learn a little something about your teen’s date, especially if you do not know them. Find out who their date is and where the two of them met. Be wary of any meetings that took place online. In fact, you might want to monitor you teen’s online activity to ensure they are not accidentally putting themselves in danger. Arrange to actually meet your teen’s date, whether at the front door or inside the house. Although first impressions can be deceiving, actually seeing the person your teen is going out with may make you relax a little.

Communication is important when teens are dating. Keep the channels open and be willing to discuss whatever may come up, even if it’s a subject you’re not comfortable with. Make sure your teen knows where you stand on important issues like drugs and alcohol and that they can call on you, day or night, in the event they get into a situation they shouldn’t.

Finally, be flexible. Yes, you should set good ground rules, but you should also be willing to change them as the need arises. What works for your teen as a 13-year-old may not work for them later. You may have to be a little more lenient as they mature and extend their curfew with each passing year.

The key to maintaining a good relationship with your teen when they are dating is communication. Talk with your teen often and work with them to establish ground rules that suit them and you.