There’s been an issue of some lingering dispute in the Bag house.

It started something like this:

Bag Lady: “I saw the most random thing — a sign advertising chaps at Marden’s.”

Mr. BL: “That’s not how you say it.”

BL: “What?”

Mr. BL: “Chaps. It’s pronounced ‘shaps’ like the ‘ch’ in champagne.”

I told him he was ridiculous. He spouted something about never, ever being wrong. I doubled over laughing, and we skirted the obvious (how big is the shaps/chaps market in L-A?).

Surely bluster and laughter is good for any marriage.

And surely, I now needed to check out these seatless rascals.

So it’s our semiannual Marden’s column! Cover your bum and come with me.

* Wilton Ultra Gold aluminum baker pans, $5.99-$7.99

In brownie, pie and square cake sizes. (All of Bag Lady’s culinary frames of reference involve dessert.) Besides being, well, much golder than ordinary bake pans, we’re guessing the taste is that much more luxe. If need be, I am willing to submit to a walnut brownie taste test.

* “The World of Smurfs” by Matt. Murray, $7.99

It’s some 128 pages of little blue facts, history and maps. Believe it or not, that’s not an errant period in the author’s name. Also, he’s “the world’s leading smurfologist.” No smurf.

* Poland Spring Nature’s Blends raspberry or pomegranate drink, 88 cents

What, what? Poland Spring makes something other than water? Who knew?

* Chapstick, two-pack, $1.29

Cherry-flavored. Or, as Mr. Bag Lady might say, “sherry-flavored.”

* Sewing patterns, assorted, $1

Includes two by New Look based on “Project Runway” designs (a knee-length, mid-sleeve dress or pants and a vest.)

Can we talk “Project Runway” for just a moment? Such an erratic season: Ugly clothes, uglier clothes, one very twirly mustache. For the finale, I’m Team Michelle. How about you?

* Nylon kites, $2.99

About the size of a dinner plate in frog, turtle and lady bug shapes. The package says, “Fly the future.” Does the future involve not tangling the string and a quick liftoff? Because that, please.

* Hello, Kitty dressed as Kiss fleece, $9.99

Each fleece panel is ginormous. Like, three would be enough for a wedding dress. Proceed.

Best find: Boots and shoe rack, $14.99

Holds up to 18 pairs of kitten heels, shoes worn only to take out recycling, dressy flats, sneakers and hiking boots. Basically, there’s now no reason to have them all spread over the kitchen floor. So guilty of that.

Think twice: About those chaps. They’re gone, according to a clerk, maybe to return to the store later.

And, according to Miriam Webster, the pronunciation is either “shaps” or “chaps.”

So we’re both right! Mr. BL’s alleged record of perfection is intact.

Hello, hello

Bag Lady spotted a new store during the Marden’s jaunt: The Games Arena, in the same Main Street strip mall. It has lots of tables, ongoing card games and Magic the Gathering merch. A new stop for your 20-sided die.

Right back catcha

That cat butt cup from two weeks ago? Still in the office sink! This whole mystery just chaps my, um, glass.

Bag Lady’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who could play games all day) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her at baglady@sunjournal.com. 

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