Life lesson no. 37: At some point your childhood playthings become antiques.

And it will happen sooner than you think.

Well, you know, not ours. No way. For example, we definitely did not just stumble upon our favorite curly-haired plastic-and-fabric dolls at the new Grannie Mae Antiques & Fine Home Furnishings in Lewiston. Nope.

We’re also not in denial.

However, we did stumble upon a slot machine. A four-piece, pastel-colored Victorian-themed Lennox porcelain canister set. A little red wagon. Horse tack. Jewelry.

Which is to say Grannie Mae’s is awesome.

Located on Sabattus street near the Lewiston/Sabattus town line, the little antique shop features a mishmash of items, some you might have found in your great-grandmother’s kitchen, others you might have saved from your younger years and stashed in a closet. (Hello, dolly.) Granted, “antique” is in the eye of the beholder — we beg to differ that the VHS tapes piled in a box out back qualify — but we’re OK with defining it as anything quirky, cool and can’t-find-it-in-most stores.

We should mention they have quirky hours, too, open Friday to Monday.

* Roadmaster red wagon, $35

Child’s well-loved little red wagon, perfect for pushing, pulling and riding. Ironically, a bit rusty around the area that touts “rust resistant body.” 

* Slot machine, $1,500

Real one-armed bandit with a real chance to win real money. The only drawback: You must supply said real money. And you have to spend $1,500 to buy the machine first. But besides that, jackpot!

* Antique snowshoes, $95-$195 per pair

Looks like they once saw actual, olden days use and lashed with gut (or maybe we’re confusing snowshoes with tennis rackets?) Anyway, very thick, leathery, coolly aged. Perfect for decorating camp.

* “Diana: Queen of Hearts” VHS tape, $2

Prince George’s grandma! Though we’re pretty sure that’s not what they called her in this 1990s biopic.

* Antique oak high chair, $225

Abiding by zero of today’s safety standards. Marvel at how great-grandma and great-grandpa survived childhood. Then set a beautiful plant on it.

* L.L.Bean baby toboggan, $85

In like-new condition, it retails online for $139. Winter is coming. We’ll say no more.

* Pig riding a motorcycle with a dog in the sidecar cookie jar, no price

You caught the bit about the dog in the sidecar? Right. Adorable.

* World clock, $295

With seven clock faces, the outside almost looks like a giant, tabletop pocket watch. Like something you’d see on “American Pickers,” except less dusty.

* Bell telephone, $35

Black rotary phone from the days when phones could not fit in your pocket. Unless you had really big pockets. And didn’t mind your pants falling down a lot. Ah, the ’60s.

* Lennox canisters, $80

Pastel-colored porcelain canister set for flour, sugar, coffee and tea. Each canister looks like a home or shop from the Victorian era. Put them all together and marvel at the mini village on your counter. Then don’t touch ever again because, really, porcelain.

* Tin man, $35

Copper-colored tin man created out of cans. Looked homemade and not at all creepy, which is hard to accomplish in a tin man.

Best find: “2002 Bean Hole Supper” buttons, no price

To have warranted its own button, that had to have been one heck of a meal. There were three just buttons left, so run, don’t walk.

Think twice: 1950s era Real Walking Doll, $35

Strike one: She’s naked. Strike two: Her head is resting beside her body.

Life lesson no. 38: Steer clear of naked and headless anythings, at all cost.

Bag Lady and Shopping Siren’s true identities are protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who are also wigged by the naked doll, and these guys don’t wig easy) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach them at baglady@sunjournal.com and shoppingsiren@sunjournal.com.

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