C’mon, man! Stealing seats off the bleachers at a school?

Really?

The Oxford County Sheriff’s Office is investigating the theft of aluminum bleacher seats and foot rests from the Buckfield Junior-Senior High School. Just the seats and rests. The thieves left behind the steel framework, which means they had to spend a little time detaching the pieces from the frame before hauling away the goods.

Police suspect the aluminum was stolen to be sold for scrap, which makes the theft all the more galling.

Here is a bleacher purchased with hard-earned taxpayer dollars to be used at a public facility for spectators to sit and watch a ball game, and a couple of yahoos took the seats to redeem pennies for their selfish selves.

Replacement cost for the three-bench bleacher runs about $800 and the salvage value of the stolen aluminum probably runs between 50 and 75 cents per pound max.

The weight of the entire bleacher, frame and all, is only about 240 pounds, so whoever made off with the benches won’t get more than $180 in salvage, if they’re exceptionally lucky. More than likely, a salvage dealer will recognize the pristine condition of the nearly new aluminum planks, realize they were stolen and the thieves will get nothing.

Or, maybe, it’ll dawn on the thieves that they won’t get salvage value at all and they’ll just pitch the planks in the woods.

It’s the same scenario with copper theft from buildings and utility companies, or any other metals stolen for their scrap value.

The real value of these metals is in the purpose they serve: aluminum bleachers to seat people, copper tubing to run water through heating systems, wire to enable telecommunications, bronze castings and nickel fittings to connect and finish plumbing systems. The real value of these metals is in their manufactured use, not their scrap. Unless, that is, the metals are truly dented, dinged and scrapped beyond use.

And, when someone decides to steal these metals, the property owners pay the price. In Buckfield, that means taxpayers get the tab.

Fortunately, the thieves used some restraint and left two other bleachers and a single-plank bench intact.

Unfortunately, this public property sets on a ball field well hidden from street view, which makes it susceptible to theft.

What does the school district have to do? Haul in the benches every night? Pour cement and lock them down? Do away with them altogether and ask spectators to bring their own chairs?

Then what about the field goal frames and netting? What about the very gate that blocks vehicles from the playing fields’ access road? There are metal components on both.

Sound ridiculous?

Sure does, but not as ridiculous as stealing something that doesn’t belong to you.

This is not the crime of the century, to be sure, but it happened at school and teaches students that their school grounds — where they play — are targeted by thieves.

There’s also a lesson for administrators in weighing the cost and effort of upgrading and outfitting school grounds for the enjoyment of the community, and is a study in frustration for taxpayers who foot the bill.

There is very little evidence at the scene, and police aren’t even exactly sure when the aluminum was stolen, so the likelihood of an arrest and conviction is pretty slim.

It sure would be nice if the thieves just returned the planks. They don’t have to re-install them, just pitch them on the front lawn of the school and move along.

It wouldn’t reverse the crime or undo the community’s dismay, but it would save the public a little money, and the public needs all the help it can get.

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The opinions expressed in this column reflect the views of the ownership and the editorial board.