My wife passed away on Jan. 6, 2014. It was a time for grieving, but so much of it was reflections from the past.

We had two children, and some would say we lived a normal, middle-class life. We were friends for 57 years and for 52 of those years we were married. We, in fact, were never alone.

My “reflections” ended up as a “wish list.” It was as though I knew a secret that I needed to share.

I had told my wife that I would share my thoughts with the grandchildren. You can wish all you want but at some point in time you need to identify what is possible and under your control. Turn the wish list into an action list and make it happen

This is my “wish list” (the short version): I wish I had said “I love you” more often; I wish I had held her hand more (just because); I wish I had hugged her more; I wish I had paid more attention to her desires, concerns and needs; I wish I knew the name of her favorite flower.

What I came to realize is that a loving relationship is a partnership of dependency. God knew that man should not be alone, and humankind should reflect on the importance of family and friends.

I cannot change my “wish list” into an action list with my partner, but other people have the opportunity, before they are alone.

Norman Smith, Poland

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