There’s rarely a warning that your world is about to be rocked.

The exact order of events, as Bag Lady can best recall:

1. Look, there’s a new local, online retailer with an adorable catchphrase: The Nor-Eastah, “Taking New England By Storm.”

2. Let’s check them out.

– Retail interlude –

3. Oh. My. God. Ghost Pepper-Infused Maple Syrup.

To back up a little, to the pre-rocking, if you will, the paper received a press release in March about The Nor-Eastah, out of Greene, a website that sells Maine-made gifts by other Maine-lovin’ retailers.

With the chance to support a local company, see new products and virtually meet other companies that might have so far eluded retail detection, there was no question: Bag Lady was in.

Feeling my insides virtually aflame? Pure bonus.

* Dominique’s Sweet Treats candles, $7

A 3-ounce brick of scented soy candle wax split into six little cubes that you can toss into a wax warmer to make your home smell sweet. There are 19 scents to choose from, including bayberry, chocolate and apple pie. Also, strangely enough, Abercrombie & Fitch. That’s for folks who can’t get enough dark, loud and teenagery, I presume.

* Dulse & Rugosa Sweet Island Face Oil, 3 oz., $18

Formulas for oily or dry skin available. Use as a face wash. (“Face oil” sounds like such a misnomer, but OK, we’ll go with it.) Products are made from items gathered around Gotts Island, according to D&R’s website.

Not Gotts Island!

Yes, Gotts Island.*

(* Home of the annual Liberty Balalaika Ensemble‘s free summer concert. So now you totally know which island I’m talking about.)

* Weownit Cranberry Company Black Fly Bites, from $1.55/1 oz. up to $15.60/1 lb.

Dark chocolate-covered sweetened cranberries. I adore the idea of a starter size and a hope-no-one’s-looking size.

For the same price, there’s also Lobster Eggs (sweet cranberries with a red hard candy shell) and Loon and Puffin Eggs (sweet cranberries dipped in yogurt.)

Or Moose Poops, which are the same as Black Fly Bites and which BL is choosing to ignore. Because eww.

Weownit Cranberry Company in Jonesport also sells not one but two cranberry recipe books. Feel yourself puckering? It’s all that cranberry.

* Beast Feast Apple Bourbon Barbecue and Grilling Sauce, 12 oz., $8

For wild game, meatloaf or baked beans — basically anything.

Beast Feast, in Bridgton, also sells the aforementioned Ghost Pepper-Infused Maple Syrup from its own website. Too hellfire for you? There’s Habanero-Infused Maple Syrup, too.

Suddenly, my insides are yurking, yet intrigued. But my tongue is on fire. Still, I can’t look away.

Water, please! And pancakes, maybe.

* Tourmaline tree necklace, $49.95

A dainty little silver tree pendant with green and purple tourmaline stone chips for leaves. Man-I-wish-I’d-thought-of-this creative, which is the highest possible compliment.

* Classic pet beds, $159.95 (cat) and $189.95 (dog)

Solid wood, four-post beds with fleece-covered cushions. So comfy looking that hearing “You’re in the dog house!” is not such a bad thing anymore.

Best find: Cat family puzzle, $25

Eight cats and a mouse, wooden, and they all fit together . . . somehow. It’s puzzling. And adorable.

Think twice: About trying either hot varieties of maple syrup and not dropping Bag Lady a full report that includes photos, sound effects and ratings on a scale of 1-10 of how badly you yurked/how much you wanted to yurk/and whether you would go back for seconds.

I await your yurk.

Bag Lady’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who say, “Hey, let’s celebrate!”) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her at [email protected]

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