As longtime shopping devotees, Bag Lady and Shopping Siren know there are a handful of universal retail experiences.

The triumph of exact change. Marshalling every stealth-ninja skill you have to surreptitiously peruse the checkout lane tabloids (WHAT? Ben and Jen are done?!). Wanting to throttle the person who was in the dressing room before you and left 18 pairs of skinny jeans. On. Every. Hook.

And going through the three stages of Kohl’s Cash.

OK, so maybe that last one is less universal and more of an issue for shoppers of Kohl’s and other retailers who have jumped on the “spend $50, get $10 in money you can only use here and only for a very limited time and exclusions may apply” bandwagon. We’re looking at you, JCPenney Bonus Cash.

The aforementioned three stages: Joy. (Yay! Free money!) Dread. (But I don’t need anything else at that store.) Panic. (Ack, my $10 expires tomorrow! How did that happen? Must. Go. Shopping.)

We typically have no problem spending $10 anywhere at any time — hey, we are professionals — but looming Kohl’s Cash has given us more sleepless nights than any coupon/gift card/reward program should. We can’t let it slip quietly into that good night! But we also don’t want to buy something we don’t need.

And don’t get us started about the number of times we’ve spent a lot more than planned because . . . well, there was awesomeness and we were getting $10 off. 

But no more! Now we have a plan. And things. Specific things. Specific things at Kohl’s for $10 or less. 

We’re happy to share. Because shopping-induced panic should never be universal.

* The Big One bath towels, various colors, $3.99

Who can’t use a big, fluffy towel or two? Regularly $9.99 each, these towels often go on sale for less than $4 — like now! — so you can grab two with your Kohl’s Cash and still have a bit left over. That way, you don’t leave your reward money hanging out to dry. 

* Children’s game tins, $6.99

Choose from Bunco, Farkle and Doc McStuffins-themed UNO. Shopping Siren is a virtual UNO champion and she knows of Bunco, but she’s completely stymied by Farkle. Apparently there’s dice and . . . no, that’s pretty much it. Dice without a dragon seems a bit of a letdown. 

* Vintage Chic picture frames, $9.99

Choose from 4- by 6-inch or 4- by 4-inch tabletop frames, all weighty and solid in ornate gray, gold or white. On sale from $19.99, so it’s a good deal. Now you have a reason to print off those photos that have been sitting in your cellphone for two years.

* Franklin baseball toys, $5.49 to $9.99

Choose from glove-and-ball sets or jumbo bat-and-ball sets, all perfectly sized for little hands. Too adorable. Just make sure no one wields the bat like a light saber. It’s all fun and games until Dad gets hit in an uncomfortable spot.*

*Unless you have a video camera out. Then it’s SOLID GOLD. Sorry, Dad. It is.

* Oh! Snaps sunglasses, $2 or $4

Comes with one standard pair of sunglasses and two lens-free, fun-print plastic frames. Pop out the lenses from one pair and snap them into another pair for an instant new look. For some reason, the dark-tinted glasses were $2 (90 percent off), while the lightly tinted glasses were $4 (80 percent off). We don’t know why. An overzealous pricing gun? Light tints are 10 percent more the rage? It’s one of those mysteries the world may never solve.    

* “Frozen” earrings, $4

Three tiny “Frozen”-theme studs, including hearts, ice-blue gems and a portrait of Elsa. Cute for kids or the adult who is a kid at heart — and has the earlobes to match.

In related news, “Frozen” is still everywhere: bedding, jewelry, games, shoes, towels, even an Olaf waffle maker. Just like that scene in the movie where the chatty snowman makes waf— Wait, no, that doesn’t actually happen. Two years after its debut, the movie isn’t releasing its icy grip just yet.

* Wembley novelty flask, $4

Palm-sized 4-ounce flask, complete with mini funnel. (So you won’t lose a drop of, um, iced tea.) The inside is stainless steel, while the outside is a retro 1950s cartoon, touting “Happy hour” or “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere!” Perfect for Dad, especially after the baseball bat incident. 

* Melissa & Doug fashion sticker collection, $5.39

Ten theme pages, 600-plus stickers. A heck of a way to spend a rainy afternoon for a budding fashionista.

* Wooden sign art, $5.99

“Salty Kisses And Starfish Wishes” is painted in white on a soft sea-foam blue background, on artfully rustic wood. Bathroom or sun porch hangable. We don’t know what the phrase means, exactly, but it sounds happy. Delightful, even. As long as we don’t have to pucker up for the starfish. Or rip its legs off. Then, we’re out.

* SO Authentic flip-flops, $3.99

Choose from tons of whimsical insole patterns, including a fanciful doughnut pattern and not one, not two, but THREE different patterns of kittens. Wear them ironically or unironically, whatever your mood calls for.

* Large Hello Kitty throw, $9.99

Amazingly plush and 80 percent off (originally $49.99). We remember the days when Hello Kitty was limited to cheap stickers and erasers. And now her face is on a $50 blanket. You go, girl.

Best find: Aladdin clear, insulated faux-mason jar mug with striped turquoise straw, $2.59

Ideal for sipping lemonade outside and lounging with a book without getting your hand all mug-sweaty, at a steep discount. And BAM! Bag Lady has her first Christmas 2015 stocking stuffer.

Think twice: About letting your free-ish money go to waste! At a minimum, build up your flip-flop/towel/earrings/Bunco collection.

Bag Lady and Shopping Siren’s true identities are protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who got excited about the pairing of “throw” and “Hello Kitty,” then realized their error and were less excited) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach them at baglady@sunjournal.com and shoppingsiren@sunjournal.com.

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