Editor’s note: This is the second of a two-part article. 

Kara Paine found herself in jail after taking about two grams of heroin and then going on one of her shoplifting excursions. She had more than $1,000 of merchandise on her when she was caught. Paine was too ashamed to call her parents, so she stayed in jail, not even sure if they knew where she was at first.

“I was in jail for 11 days. That’s how I got clean. I detoxed in jail,” said Paine. “It’s funny to look back on it now about how ridiculous it was.”

It takes about five days of detoxing before heroin loosens its grip on a person, says Paine. So, after enduring five days of excruciating pain and severe mental anguish in the cold confines of a jail cell, Paine found herself at her court date, sober for the first time in years. Even with the difficult part of detoxing behind her, Paine was pretty sure she’d go back to the drug.

“My attitude was not very good about it at first. Even when I got out of jail, I knew I wanted to stay clean, but I honestly didn’t think I had the willpower to do it,” said Paine.

The court put her on a deferred disposition, meaning that, in exchange for a guilty plea, they would defer her sentencing to a later date, provided she adhere to a list of conditions – she was to have zero contact with her boyfriend of the time, no drugs, no alcohol, mandatory Alcoholics Anonymous/Narcotics Anonymous attendance, counseling and other conditions to prove that she was able to lead a law-abiding life.

Even before the worst days of her addiction, Paine had struggled with depression and anxiety, and those proved to be some of her biggest obstacles in staying clean. When she was first released from jail, she returned to living with active addicts at an apartment in Auburn, but she was so depressed about the loss of her boyfriend and the court-imposed no-contact, that she spent days in bed feeling sorry for herself.

“When I was in Auburn, I was not in my happy place. How I managed to stay clean is beyond me. It was not a good environment at all. I had no family there. I was hanging on by those couple of threads,” said Paine.

Paine’s counselor convinced her to find a better situation, and as the days and weeks turned into months, Paine felt herself growing stronger a little at a time.

“When you get clean, one thing they stress is having a good support system. For me that was absolutely vital, and it played a huge role in staying clean and from keeping my slips from becoming relapses,” said Paine.

Her parents and her counseling team became her biggest champions, and now, a year later, Paine finds herself with a strength she never imagined she might one day have – and she wants to use that strength to help others struggling with the disease of addiction.

“I have the best parents in the world, I really do. I can always talk to them. I also have counselors who have been monumental,” she said. “I’m still living one day at a time, but my long-term goals a year ago, when I first got clean, were to get a job, get a car, get a clean place to live, get a healthy relationship; and I’ve accomplished all of that. So now, I want to help people. Any way that I can help people is good for me.”

Paine found a meaningful way to help when the Western Maine Addiction Task Force held its early organizational meeting in August. She went there with a friend to hear more about what resources are available in the western Maine region for people trying to recover from substance abuse and to learn about the group’s mission. That’s when someone handed them a card with Andrew Kiezulas’ name on it.

Kiezulas is a senior at the University of Southern Maine. He studies chemistry and is also minoring in both mathematics and leadership and organizational studies. Beyond that, though, Kiezulas is the founder of the Young People in Recovery Maine chapter.

“YPR’s mission is to decrease barriers and to increase access to treatment, education, housing and employment for anyone who is seeking recovery,” said Kiezulas.

Paine and her friend contacted Kiezulas, who introduced them to Young People in Recovery. Paine knew right away that YPR’s mission aligned with her ideas for helping people, and so, with her friend’s help and with Kiezulas’ guidance, she decided to start organizing a more local chapter in the Oxford Hills region.

“I know how hard it is to get clean because people around here don’t have the support they need,” said Paine, who says the most important way to generate that support is to involve the community in an ongoing conversation about substance abuse and recovery.

“We’re not throwaways. We’re your sister, your son, your daughter, your cousin, your father, your uncle. We’re everywhere, and we need help,” said Paine.

Kiezulas says the conversation about substance abuse has been going on for some time now in more urban areas, but that rural communities are lagging behind.

“I have seen the stigma run very deep in some of the more rural communities. People generally tighten their ranks and try to keep outside help from coming in and influencing the small town that they’re trying to protect. A lot of people don’t want to admit that this is a problem.

“This could be their friend, their neighbor, their loved one. (Addiction) doesn’t discriminate. But in more rural communities, where they’re not used to having that conversation, when a tragedy does strike, they’re more likely to see it as an isolated incident, and not see the larger picture.

“They can see it more as a wrong decision as opposed to the disease of substance (use) disorder. This is a community illness and it needs a community solution,” said Kiezulas.

Paine is hoping that by sharing her story she might inspire others to take action. An organized YPR group in Oxford Hills would be an additional support system for people in recovery.

“I encourage anybody who’s interested, whether in recovery or not, to be a part of the solution. Do research, get online, look stuff up. There’s this really great documentary on Netflix called “The Anonymous People.” It focuses on the anonymity factor and how the youth want to change that so we don’t have to be this shameful hidden thing.

“A big part of the problem is feeling shame and feeling like you can’t talk about it. I think the more open you can be about it in the community, the better chance we have of staying in recovery,” said Paine.

A successful conversation in the community will increase understanding of substance use disorder, thereby increasing employment and housing opportunities for people in recovery. Kiezulas says that an individual facing recovery needs the security of having those basic life needs met to ensure their long-term success.

“We create an environment that is welcoming and inviting,” said Kiezulas. “Studies have shown that purpose in life and a love of education are two of the fastest ways to increase sustainability in recovery. Education can obviously lead to better employment, which can lead to more stable housing, and having a home to come to and rest your head at night is crucial.”

Paine, grateful for the people who have shown her sympathy and understanding, agreed.

“My boss giving me the chance to work at her company – that could be the thing that saves somebody’s life,” she said.

“You have to remind yourself that you’re doing good, and you’re trying your hardest, and some people are just not going to understand. Don’t give up. You’re going to come across that one person who gets it, and who is sympathetic, and they’ll give you a chance.”

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