RUMFORD — The Bible verse Genesis 1:1 “…  and the Earth was without form and void, and darkness was on the face of the deep. …” is how Marsha McKenna describes her thoughts about herself before she joined Praise Assembly of God Church.

“I felt like, there was just this darkness and this emptiness on the ‘face’ of me. And I don’t mean darkness as in ‘Goth’ or devil, I just mean, something’s missing; there’s a lack of joy, there’s that, ‘What is it that the other people have that I’m missing?’”

“I didn’t even know what it was until I came to Christ and then He starts to show you what it is of all the things you’re missing,” she said.

McKenna, 55, joined the church three years ago and said it was the “hardest thing” she ever did. Since she was the youngest of five siblings, she had never done anything by herself, she said. But the decision to take that first step and walk into the church was made without even telling her sister, whom she normally told everything.

“I didn’t know what to expect. I felt like, OK, I need help. I can’t make decisions on my own anymore. I need somebody; I need the ‘dad,’ I need somebody to make my decisions.”

Her job as an animal control officer brought on a lot of feelings of “near hatred” for people who abused or mistreated animals. She educated the public about animal care but felt her efforts weren’t always helpful, and her own angry feelings toward abusers wasn’t changing.

But, she said, her faith helps her to have more understanding about why others may do the hurtful things they do. “(My faith) makes me see that they (may) have mental illness, or (it’s) their upbringing, or there’s some reason why people act the way they do. It makes me look more deeper,” she said.

And she continues with the Bible quote from Genesis: “Then God said Let there be Light,” saying that her faith teaches her how to love people and helps her experience the “light” of joy.

Through her faith she is more able to replace thoughts of “judgmentalness” with trying to be more understanding. “You know what they always say: ‘Don’t judge someone until you’ve been in their shoes.’ So that kind of came to light for me, to see people in a different way,” she said.

“Just knowing He’s guiding my life, He’s calling the shots, He’s telling me who to hang out with and when, (life) is so much easier knowing He’s in control,” she said. “I don’t have to worry about being in control (and) making all those (difficult) decisions.”

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