I want to take this opportunity to thank Mary Jane Newell of Oxford (letter, Jan. 24) for enlightening me and setting me straight after 63 years of misguided existence.

I had thought I was a good citizen.

I served this country for 20 years in the United States Navy, and then taught science for the next two decades, and formed a small business with a partner and gave the profits to charities and scholarships.

Thought I was a pretty good Joe. Boy, was I wrong.

Because I am, you see, a Democrat.

I am, according to Newell, a “hypocrite,” “hateful, mean, nasty,” and I have “no conscience or even a speck of decency.” I am a “loser” and I have “lost all credibility.”

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Because I am a Democrat.

Now I know. Knowledge is good.

So I look to Newell to inform me and my like-minded “losers” as soon as she knows when the FEMA camps have been repurposed as “re-education camps.” Perhaps this is a project that will be headed up by senior Trump adviser Steve Bannon, late of Breitbart “News.” We look forward to being indoctrinated in “Goodthink” as defined by the Ministry of Truth and articulated by its representatives, Citizens Conway and Spicer.

Once we have seen the true errors of our ways, we will finally be able to reject the evils of “socialism” and come up with a market-based solution for roads and snowplows. That would be double-plus good.

Kevin Kimball, Lisbon Falls


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