Last week a 10-year-old girl from Mexico — the town of Mexico in the River Valley — had a few minutes at school to do what is called a “free write,” or time to write something original on any topic.

Below is a letter she wrote to herself. Read the entire thing. And take it to heart.

*     *     *

So whats up??? How’s life going?

I’m good, I guess. Well I’m ok….. kinda. Never mind. It’s complicated. Ohh ya I’m you and you’re me so u know. Well at least I think u know….. do u know?

Now I’m realizing I’m talking to myself and that I can’t really get a real response. So just never mind. Ok I’ll just tell u. It’s just kinda hard moving into a new apartment.

Ya I know I know. Your opinion writing was all about how Jimmy was a butt head, but the truth is I kinda miss that little step-booger. I also kinda miss Jeff too. And my Mom’s always like “do u see how easy u have it.” And you know, she’s my Mom so I kinda have to say yes. And since I’m a kid you’re probably thinking “What did he do, steal your animal crackers?” Like it’s no big deal.

No like I said before, it’s a little more complicated.

IDK about u but it’s not always so easy knowing that your daddy died over a drug overdose. Just kill me now right. I thought my dad loved me but i guess not ….. but really dad was your life just so horrible that u just didn’t think about all your friends and family who loved u dearly? Every one misses u so much, u didn’t have to leave us all, but sense you apparently had so many stupid problems down here u did drugs and took your own life for no reason.

Whenever I talk about u to meme and mum they all say some stupid thing like “he’s safe now” or “he’s in a better place now.” What does that mean? What were u trying to hide from me?? Because some day some one is going to have to tell me what’s going on.

I remember when you used to sit in your bedroom all by yourself with the door locked. I always wondered what u did in there but I have now put the puzzle peaces together and I know now.

Mom always says you were just trying to protect me. But what were you really doing? I’m 10 years old. I shouldn’t even know what half of this stuff means…. but i do.

Dad it hurts me to just think about it. I will always love you and never forget about u, but u hurt me, mom, meme, papa, an many more.

I hope I’m not the only one who feels this.

Did you ever even think of nick ? That was the first time I’ve ever seen him cry. Just writing this is giving me the chills. The other day I was thinking about when we were at that college in bethel playing basket ball and i had to sit on your shoulders just to make it in. Me, u and nick had a lot of fun there.

Those are the memories i miss…… not the 3 min phone calls from u to me when u were at jail….

I have a neckless with your thumb print on it. I hope u know that no-one can explain how much they miss u.

I know that whoever is reading this is probably like “this girl is just taking out every thing negative & bad stuff that’s happened to her and probably just trying to make people feel bad.” Well I’m not.

If u want to hear how I feel and see things from my point of view, hear it is.

Thank u for taking the time to read this, whoever u are.

*     *     *

The writer’s father died two years ago. She was 8 years old.

That father, who is so clearly missed, was among the 272 overdose deaths in Maine in 2015. By the end of the next year, that number tallied 378 — more than one a day.

In talking with her mother about her essay after she wrote it, the Mexico student said she hoped just one parent would read her letter, think about using drugs, think about what using drugs is doing to their family, and just stop. Make a commitment to stay alive for the people who love them.

Hers is a message of hope born from loss. It’s a message of love. And of life.

jmeyer@sunjournal.com

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