Between the six-packs of padded bras, the tiger-face leggings and the sweet maple cotton candy, I’m not even sure where to start.

Maybe at the very beginning.

In this column’s storied, 11-year history — can I be so bold as to call it storied? — we have yet to ever shop a fair.

So it was with some excitement that Bag Lady trotted off to the Fryeburg Fair this week and came back with a few things that need quickly getting out of the way.

Decorative feathers are still happening. So are Baja hoodies. Inexplicably.

Blankets are also happening, super thick, luxe, oversized things. Add a little evening bite to the air as you wander the grounds and never again will you be so tempted to curl up with Marilyn Monroe giving the middle finger.

Vendor after vendor had a pretty amazing selection of fun, flirty sun dresses. Cowboy hats? Check. Borderline inappropriate signs for your man cave or dog house? Check.

But all that is just skimming the padded bra surface.

Let’s buckle up and make some history.

• Pickled beets, 16 oz., Maine Grange Store, $6.50

Maybe it’s just the dozens of curated meal shots I see in my Facebook feed everyday, but I feel like beets are having a moment. Might as well make ’em Maine beets.

• Children’s zip-up sweaters, across from the carousel, $20

Made in Peru, 30 percent wool and the knit equivalent of sunshine. These sweet little sweaters featured animals, clouds and flowers. The kid-friendly way to beat the cold. You know, if you decide not to buy them the Marilyn blanket.

• Pumpkin room spray, 4 oz., Kearsarge Mountain Soaps and Sundries, $8

Mmm. ‘Tis the season.

• Maple cotton candy, Grandpa Joe’s Sugar House, $3

Such a Maine version of cotton candy! Love that.

A shout-out, too, to the dozens of food booths that will leave you drooling as you shop, ride and admire livestock. Three words. Bacon-wrapped kielbasa.

You’re welcome.

• Super soft fleece spandex leggings, tent across from the Tilt-A-Whirl, $25

According to my Facebook feed, leggings are also having a moment, and high-five to them. There were prints galore to choose from here but the print of a repeating tiger’s face stood out for, well, obvious reasons. Grrr.

Best find: Simonetta faux fur-trimmed poncho, across from the carousel, $35

Super cozy and chic in grays, blacks and neutrals. Everyone at the office will be asking, “Where’d you get that?” You’ll coyly say, “I know people.” Those people being the people who pitched a tent across from the carousel.

Think twice: Six-pack of animal print padded bras, tent across from the Tilt-A-Whirl, price unknown

You thought I was making these up? Oh, no.

I’m not even sure where to start.

Bag Lady’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who woof, “Yes, please,” to bacon-wrapped kielbasa) and the customer service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her at [email protected]

One of the many colorful kids’ sweaters at the Fryeburg Fair this week.

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