This week, Bag Lady was going to write about the ultimate joy that is Friendly’s Limited Edition Nor’easter Pothole ice cream, the existence and name of which I am totally not making up, and then Luke Perry died.

Highs and lows, man. Highs and lows.

BL and Shopping Siren, being somewhere between the ages of 24 and 94, are in that sweet spot to have watched “Beverly Hills 90210” with intermittent, intense fandom between 1990 and 2000. (Hey, some years we got busy).

Kelly, Donna, Brandon, Brenda, Dylan and crew were the coolest cool kids around. Perry, as Dylan McKay, was the gorgeous, brooding loner, a smoldering bad boy who wasn’t actually so bad, in a time long before smoldering sorts were more apt to jack a car, juggle eight trysts or drink up a storm. (I’m looking at you, “Vanderpump Rules,” and really, the entirety of reality TV. With love. But still.)

Even as Archie’s dad on “Riverdale,” Perry was intense, kind and scruffy/gorgeous. Like the rest of the world, we were really shook by his passing. Our sincere condolences go out to his family. He’ll always be Dylan to us.

. . .

OK.

Now let’s eat ice cream.

Special delivery

Having included on an actual grocery list for Mr. Bag Lady, “Amazing chocolate ice cream — but it has to be amazing,” he came home with nothing less than the aforementioned Limited Edition Nor’easter Pothole flavor. First, a prize goes to the genius who named it. (Please, please let it be someone from Maine.) Second, a prize to whomever decided to mix Oreo-like cookies, fudge and tiny chocolate chips into wonderfulness.

There’s no word on just how limited it is. Did Bag Lady, in scarfing down a carton (please note: with help), eat the entirety of its run? I dearly hope not. Run, don’t walk.

And speaking of.

‘Run, Kate, run!’: A public service announcement

BL and SS are hooked on the new season of “Married at First Sight” and both so enraged over the befuddling jerkitude that is Luke. It’s jerkitude of the worst ilk, with a hipster haircut and disarming hey-girl smile. He was paired with Kate, a delightful blonde of whom he said after kissing her the one and only time, he felt repulsed and “dead inside.”

I mean, ouch. Ten for 10 on the Harsh Scale.

And yet they stay together. And she keeps trying to make him happy! And she completely backs down when, after Kate proposes divorce, Luke’s all, whoa, whoa, simmer down. We’re good, you silly head.

Pure. Rage.

So there’s lots of yelling at the TV this week. And it doesn’t end there.

Uh, WHAT?

Bag Lady had only a fleeting knowledge of R. Kelly and Mr. BL none at all when we settled in this week for Lifetime’s six-part “Surviving R. Kelly” docuseries. Really riveting, and atrocious, and total kudos to all of the women interviewed. I truly lost count at the number of Mr. BL’s, “He did what (allegedly)? For how long (allegedly)?”

It’s really good TV if you’ve still got a little fury left after watching Kate and Luke.

My DVR is set for Gayle King’s interview with Kelly tonight at 8 on CBS.

Go, Gayle!

Now, a happy place (or two)

“Project Runway” returns to Bravo next week with designer/former PR winner Christian Siriano in the Tim Gunn mentor role!

Not enough exclamation points exist for that sentence.

And in other fabulousness: “Queer Eye” also returns to Netflix next week with Season 3!

Let’s tuck in to some Nor’easter Pothole and enjoy ourselves, shall we?

Bag Lady’s true identity is protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who have nothing but nice things to say about Luke Perry) and the customer service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach her at [email protected]


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