Brain Fog

First of all, let’s get something straight. I am not a scientist that finds they have the need to come up with an off the wall idea to get grant money. I do not find the need to dig myself a hole and then prove to you folks I need more money to study how deep I am in that proverbial mess. Some of those professional scientists make a statement when they are in college then spend their lives proving they did not make up that story. All in the name of getting more grant money. Next, I am not a doctor. I tend to have humor, whereas some do not. I have had the pleasure of sending some out of the exam room in quite a huff because they just did not understand country humor. When they ask me “did I ever”, well ever is now 77 years in my book. I did a lot of stuff when I was four and five years old that I surely would not do today. I find I do not have the need to research Latin words to come up with a seventeen-letter name for this problem. It is Brain Fog, plain and simple. I have heard some people talk about that lady whose mind is sharp as a tack at eighty years of age. That is definitely not me. I have been called many things, but not quite such as that. I tend to be a bit too honest. This most surely gets me into trouble rather quickly. Brain Fog is a condition that has been given to you as a test. It works pretty much like regular fog does. As the wind blows, the fog moves around. It can come on rather quickly also. This tests your ability to create your own thesaurus while describing a common article. What was once known as water pump pliers is now that long handle thingiie with teeth you used two days ago. Now, I am going to stop a moment here and say I was never one to remember people’s names. So I have had to invent some rather descriptive sentences to describe some individuals. When I refer to that old one arm fella driving that yellow car, a lot of folks know who that is. He drove so slow, one could almost run that fast. Brain Fog on my part. It is not accepted in our human society that one experiments on others. Unless of course, they are close to nimble minded as I am. So I decided to experiment on myself to find a cure for Brain Fog. First, I tried a bit of whiskey. One knows that when a group of men get together with a bit of whiskey, they become the smartest people around. They can come up with a fix for all kinds of problems. Everything from politics to money to local society, they have the secret cure for all. This did not work with me. I just wanted to have fun singing and dancing. I found the whiskey also expanded my thoughts on what is humorous. This got me into trouble a couple of times. So, I switched to other remedies. I tried so many different remedies, I forgot over half of them. This was a sure sign that remedy did not work. I do know that the first cup of coffee in the morning helps tremendously in clearing out the brain fog. This did not help at all when talking about that fella that always wore different colored socks. Even if you knew him personally and wanted to hire him for a special project. After those six or seven cups of caffeine, there is only one thing on your mind. We all know that from experience. I have yet been able to figure out how to battle my type of brain fog. I continue paying a price for not remembering simple things. When one forgets to bring in firewood, the house is really cool in the morning. I have even gone so far to burn boiled eggs because of this brain fog. When you go outside and come back in, the smell immediately tells you the eggs are indeed done. There are no words to rectify this situation. I have on more than one occasion expressed my thoughts to myself of about my actions with the hopes of not doing that again. But I try not to lie to myself. I know full well somewhere along the line I am going to forget something. You take for example working on a small motor. You get it all back together and spy a small silly part still on the bench. There is no fog there. You know exactly where that belongs. It should have been one of the first pieces put back in the motor. You can now either take the motor back apart, or you can go somewhere else and pretend all is ok for the moment. Of course, shaking your head and mumbling to yourself as you walk away just does not solve anything. A lot of this depends on if you can remember just what you wanted that motor for in the first place. The best thing that I have found is just sticking to making wooden projects. If you mess up just don’t tell anyone. You must pretend that is just how you wanted it. This pretending that is how you intended it, works really great.

A few years back, a fella called me for some advice. Some folks think of me as an expert in some things. So I went to visit him to see what his problem was. Now, this fella was almost totally blind. He didn’t trust what others were telling him and knew I would be honest with him. As I explained things to him and his son, the subject of him building a dog house came about. I was puzzled why not; he has great hearing. They began making excuses about measuring and all that nonsense. I began to explain, there are parts of your hand and arm that can be used to measure with. This didn’t win the argument in his favor. They were afraid of him cutting himself. I countered with anytime a saw is running it makes noise. Just keep your hand away from the noise. It doesn’t matter to others just what the outcome looked like. To him it looked like a dog house. That is all that mattered. I followed with the statement; I have seen some dog houses made by normal folks that did not look like a dog house. So now, If I make something that didn’t look quite right due to this brain fog, I just pretend it’s a birdhouse and not a table lamp. But you folks get the idea. As long as I can remember to wear the proper clothing when I leave the woods, all is fine in my world. Ken White COB