“We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.” [T.S.Elliot]

In every ending, the beginning is already there Getty Images/iStockphoto

I ended last week’s column with, “You are the love you have been waiting for.” Last weekend, I was at an all-weekend workshop, and as I was chatting with someone I had just met, I said this to her. As I did, a woman came up the stairs behind us and exclaimed, “Oh! I needed to hear that today!”

She was dressed in purple from head to toe and walked with a shiny black cane that matched her hair. She didn’t stop to chat, but as she went by, I thought, “We all need these reminders. She seems like a perfectly lovely soul.” How do we know who we are and learn to be the one who loves us best?

Over a decade ago, I dipped deep into a transformation, beginning by researching spiritual practices and religions. Then my health crisis hit, and as many people experience after trauma, my transformation was put on super speed. I started blogging and journaling when neither was society’s norm, but it hugely benefited my well-being.

I began by allowing my heart to flow through my fingers onto the keyboard. I explored memories. I wrote whatever came into my head. At that time, this exploration and transformation idea was new to the modern-day culture and not widely embraced, so mentors were few and far between.

Maybe you are at a point where you feel uncomfortable, but not sure why. It’s a vague, undefined feeling but nudges your curiosity. Maybe you’re questioning why you have the friends or job you have. Perhaps you’re feeling a general restlessness. Begin your exploration by writing your story or recording it in another manner.


Write your thoughts down. Write singular words, whole phrases, sentences, or long paragraphs. Use a notebook, a pretty journal, a napkin, or the back of an envelope. Whatever you are feeling or thinking, please write it down.

Still need prompting? Answer the question, “Where does my story begin?” as you continue writing, allow this answer to morph. It doesn’t matter how old or young you are; there are no right or wrong answers.

T.S. Eliot was ahead of most of us on this exploration journey. His wisdom tells us we must never stop exploring who we are and why we are here. And that one day, we will return to the beginning to see ourselves as we never have.

To find our answers, we must go deep within. The process may be joyful, sometimes painful, and frequently exhausting, so we must remember to honor “the pause.” Those moments are when we think we are finished, but in every ending, the beginning is already there.

Rest and reflect until we begin again this process of healing where we need to heal and come to an understanding of ourselves. We learn that we, indeed, are the love for which we were waiting.

Comments are not available on this story.

filed under: