Ripples of ribbon adorn our still bright green and well-lit Christmas tree. We say we’ll get a smaller tree, but every year we don’t. To some, our tree is small. To others, it is monstrous.  Light causes glass icicles to glisten as they drip from the tips of random branches. Thoughtfully placed ornaments, each with a memory attached, wink at their audience in acknowledgment of their place on our tree.

They are sweet and backlit with red, green, and yellow lights. Anyone would agree it is beautiful standing in our living room with a golden angel adorning the tip-top, looking out on us as a guardian, as she has done each Christmas. As I turn out the lights each night, I look back and say good night to the gaily-lit tree. I tell her I love her, appreciate her, and see her God-given gift.

I suppose this all sounds like a bit of frivolous whimsy. There’s nothing wrong with frivolous whimsy. In contrast, I have read numerous social media posts about how “weird” this season seemed. I always wanted to reply that the feeling of weirdness comes from awakening to something larger than ourselves, remembering who we are as aspects of God, living in a God-given body. If we aren’t used to that, this growth, until it is named, is going to feel weird. You aren’t weird. You are right where you are meant to be, feeling what you are meant to feel.

I have always been aware of some feeling of something within me being bigger than myself. I could never name it as such. It was a vague feeling that was not wholly realized until I took the opportunity to be still, wonder, and listen. During these moments, I realized my connection to others and, most importantly, as it is with everyone, God living within me. It’s not a religious thought used to control; it is a spiritual knowing of growth. I can attest that, at first, it felt weird.

As my son prepared to leave for his home yesterday. I said I am very blessed to have children who want to come home. He said, “Well, you make great food and always make us feel loved and comfortable.” A day later, happy tears still threaten to drip and glisten like our Christmas tree icicles.

As marked on our calendars, we are into a new year. I hope for everyone to feel comfortable and loved, even when feeling weird. I want you to love yourself and be happy with who you are. Take time to grow from within and to appreciate stillness and silence.

It is like our Christmas tree, which to some is small; to others, it is immense, but to us, it is right-sized, so it is with our life journey. It may feel weird and uncomfortable, but it is right-sized, unlike anyone else’s. Feeling weird is normal and a sign that we are growing, shining brightly from within and outward.

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