A decade ago, I was quite successful at completely shutting down my heart. Previous decades of school bullying and work-overlords had taken their toll. I resolved never to be hurt again, trust no one, and make a plan to move forward and stick to it. My mask was solidly in place. Happy on the outside and inside, uncertain of pretty much everything. The heart does what it needs to do to survive. To this day, I remember how that felt and where I stood when I made my resolution. The walls were up, and no one would bring them down.

All of that was a big fat lie, I now tell myself. Do we want to shut down so hard that we forget who we are and what we are meant to be and allow outside influences to steal our joy and peace? I don’t think so. My soul knew what it needed and why I was here, even when I couldn’t remember. I stuck to my plan initially, but it’s like when you overeat ice cream, and the pounds sneak up on you, so it was with the changes to my plan.

Each one snuck up on me, except, unlike ice cream, these changes had me feeling lighter. I’ve mentioned before that my first step was investigating what religion and spirituality had to do with anything, but that may not be your first step. I needed to find answers to questions I’d had since I was a toddler. Be curious. It has been a grueling, arduous journey to get to where I am today, where I feel peaceful and open to giving and receiving.

It was excruciatingly painful at times, and at times, I felt pretty lonely, but through it all, I had one close friend who always supported me. There will be many who will not want to make the time for the new you, and that’s okay. You’ll draw in new friends in alignment with the happier you. Change is hard. You must want it more than you don’t.

Proverbs 4:23 instructs us to “Guard well your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Over the decades, how this was interpreted taught me that people and situations will hurt; build a wall to avoid the pain.

So I did, but we were not created to be kept in a prison of our own making. These prison walls are made from fear and only exist to support themselves and to keep us from being spiritually connected. Trust me when I say that no one has ever completely healed without a spiritual connection.

How our heart feels affects what we do and how we do it. It attracts a “like heart.” So when Solomon said, “Guard well your heart,” he meant to watch what goes into the making of your heart and what you put out. Know that, from a spiritual aspect, you are safe. Painful experiences help us learn and grow. Hearts break open to let love pour in.