I recently came across a song I hadn’t heard in many years. It’s called “Misalliance,” written by the comedy duo, Flanders and Swann. It tells of a honeysuckle and a bindweed that fall in love. This is a problem because honeysuckles spiral clockwise and bindweeds, anti-clockwise.

The two don’t care, they are in love. However, the honeysuckle’s parents are horrified. Even nature itself seems to be against them. A passing bee refuses to pollinate them, concerned about the state of an off-shoot: “Poor little sucker, how will it learn When it is climbing, which way to turn? Right, left, what a disgrace! Or it may go straight up and fall flat on its face!”

The song is charming, funny, and sobering. You should listen to it.

I wondered if there were other songs about weeds. Unfortunately, my search mostly brought up songs about marijuana, which wasn’t my intent.

I did find a lovely number by Josh Morningstar called Pullin’ Weeds.

Also, there is Dave Mallet’s Garden Song, which has the line, “Pulling weeds, picking stones, man is made of dreams and bones . . .”

Eric Kilburn wrote a parody of Mallet’s Garden Song called Anti-Garden Song. His chorus goes: “Slug by slug, weed by weed, My garden’s really got me teed. All the insects love to feed upon my tomato plants . . .”

How about poetry? Are there any poems about weeds? Turns out, there are hundreds.

Ethelwyn Wetherald (1857–1940) wrote a poem called Give Me the Poorest Weed. It begins: Give me the poorest weed To satisfy my spirit’s need. The brownest blade of grass Will know and greet me when I pass.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850–1919), wrote a poem that starts: A weed is but an unloved flower. Go dig, and prune, and guide, and wait, Until it learns its high estate, And glorifies some bower. A weed is but an unloved flower.

Nola Perez wrote this poem and posted it on poetrysoup.com:
Weed Growing In Parking Lot Crack.
It’s not a flower, it isn’t yellow, it’s just this rabid, fearless fellow.

Chris Edom wrote this gem and posted it on allpoetry.com:
Weeded Out
The weeds committed floricide among my amaryllis.
As each malnourished flower died, it asked, “Why did you kill us?”

Here are a few weedy comments from the Internet.

One person compared garden plants to cute little fluffy purse dogs that yip for food. Weeds, however, are like wolves that have to kill every time they want to eat.

Another pointed out that “Dandelion leaves can be used as a salad green. If you are growing dandelions for that, a tomato plant can be considered a weed.”

One of my favorite comments was this: “Weeds are hardy things that can grow anywhere—and usually do. Crops and flowers are more delicate things, and require TLC that weeds don’t. Kind of [like the way] snake babies are ready to snake about immediately after birth, but human babies need care and feeding until they are twenty-five or so.”