El Mechon de servitio

It is with great grief and childlike blubbering that I report that my dual sport motorcycle, El Mechon, has been laid up this week. Starter issues, I believe, and while it’s being repaired, my daily routine is all out of whack. Every five minutes I go outside to jump on the bike and there it is, gone. I blame the deer ticks for this horrible, late summer turn of events. Of course, I blame ticks for everything right now. They’re like super villains.

My lint roller

And speaking of ticks, roughly 30 of you weirdos have written me, called me or flagged me down in grocery stores to make fun of the lint roller I confessed to using in order to pluck away ticks after a hike. I open up to you people and this is what I get: lint roller jokes, most of which cannot be reproduced in a family newspaper. Well, I’m not going to cry about it. In fact, I may double down by making the humble lint roller part of my family crest. I’ve always wanted a family crest so the timing is just right.

Catch me if you can

I also got my first new pair of sneakers since I was 10 years old and buying some sweet, off-brand high tops at the Fayva. Trail runners, these new ones are, and bright green like an infected wound or something. I got them basically for mountain climbing but they’re so light and fast, I may use them to sprint through Kennedy Park a time or two, as well. Of course, sprinting is really the only way to get through Kennedy Park these days.

Total lunar eclipse tonight!!

Psych! There IS to be an eclipse the evening of Sept. 7, but it’s not visible from North America. Ha! You got your telescope out and everything! You should see your face. I only wrote this item for my many readers in Tanzania.

This ought to cheer you up

I apologize for that mean trick I just played on you. If it helps, there are only 109 days left until Christmas. Why not avoid the holiday rush and start throwing your money out the window now?

Rain dance

Those of you who know me well know that I’m not one to brag. It’s one of the many, many, many great things about me, really. But I just got a really spiffy raincoat from REI that’s so magnificent, I find myself in the position of mourning the passing of summer while at the same time, kind of hoping for rain. If the rest of you find your remaining summer weekends washed out, I guess you’ll know who to blame. I may get thrashed for this, but I’ll look good, by golly, and I’ll be dry.