Say it ain’t snow

I was stunned — STUNNED, I tell you! — when I woke up Tuesday morning (ish) to find a half-foot of snow in my driveway. The news people had been babbling about this storm for a week, it’s true, but my sense of winter denial is so great, I genuinely believed all those forecasters would be wrong. It’s the same sense of denial that leaves me convinced that Christmas is going to be postponed this year for some reason.

A thousand words

I’ve been digging the regular slideshow we put online of our photographers’ favorite pictures snapped during the previous week. This time around, I’m grabbed by the image of a 6-year-old kid snarling at the camera as he sprints down Norway’s Main Street as part of the Turkey Trot 4 Hope. Libby Kamrowski Kenny’s pic perfectly captured the intensity of the lad, whose snarl is quite impressive for a kid that age. I didn’t develop a snarl of that magnitude until I was 20 or 21.

That hurts

I also liked Russ Dillingham’s pic of the guy riding a unicycle in Lewiston, although it brought back painful memories of my own attempts to ride one of those freakish things back in the day. I didn’t walk quite right for years after The Incident and other kids gave me a cruel nickname. But other than that, Russ’ photo was just great.

Naughty or nice

I was prowling through the latest list of criminal indictments when it occurred to me: These days, the indictments, the arrest logs and all the press releases about alleged bad boys and girls around the region come through electronically as easy as you please. Why, Santa Claus doesn’t even need to leave his deluxe North Pole apartment to create his naughty list in advance of the big night. And having seen this month’s list of indictments, I think it’s fair to say ol’ St. Nick ain’t coming anywhere near Androscoggin County this year.

What do they know?

I see that now that we’ve had some snow, forecasters are calling for frigid temperatures heading our way. Ptttth. They’re wrong. Dead wrong. I’m just going to keep wearing my skort and sandals.

Is it cold in here or is it you?

Although to be fair, I have so many base layers and warm accessories this winter, I’m pretty much 3 feet thick every time I go outside. Imagine if, instead of using a multitude of mannequins at their store, L.L.Bean used just one mannequin and heaped ALL their clothes on the sucker. That’s me. That’s what I look like.