Ken Carson is such a doll!

He’s handsome, debonair, a real classy dresser and doesn’t mind being with an older woman. Ken Carson is Barbie’s on-again, off-again boyfriend.

Some of you may recall that Barbie hit the half-century mark two years ago and now Ken has celebrated his 50th birthday. If he hasn’t received a letter from AARP yet, I’m sure he will.

This is a big year for Ken in another way. He got back together with Barbie after a seven-year split. I didn’t even know that plastic dolls could break up.

Apparently the split dominated the doll world gossip back in 2004 when Barbie fell head over plastic heels for an Australian boogie board surfer dude named Blaine and left Ken with a broken heart. I wonder if Mattel released a new Barbie that year called “Fickle Barbie.”

I don’t know what happened between Barbie and Blaine. Maybe they broke up a long time ago or maybe Barbie, now 52, got a little tired of the beach surfer thing, though I understand she still looks pretty good in a bikini. Or maybe Blaine wasn’t into post-menopausal dolls.

Whatever the case, Barbie and Ken reconciled and got back together on Valentine’s Day of this year. Can marriage be that far off? The message posted to the world when the couple reunited was, “We may be plastic, but out love is real.”

From the research I have been doing on Ken and Barbie, I’m beginning to think that for some people the line between plastic and real is a bit blurred. I’m talking about adults here, not little girls.

I was astounded to discover there was a story line at all. I was even more astounded to find out there is a Barbie television network on which Ken has a reality show, and he has a Facebook page and a Twitter account.

I’m a real live person and I don’t have a Facebook page or a Twitter account.

As a kid I had a Barbie doll and I played with her a lot. I cut her hair, did a garish makeup job on her face with acrylic paints from a Paint-By-Number set and I created some very strange outfits from old curtains and such, but I never once thought she was real.

I never had a Ken doll because by March 11, 1961, when he was created, or as some fans think he was born, I had pretty much discovered that there were boys who were not made of plastic, so I had little interest in one who was.

When I read that Ken had reached the big 5-0 I decided to learn a little more about him and found that the 12-inch tall hunk, like Barbie, has gone through many transformations over the years.

Ken started out with molded hair available in blond or brunette and he wore red swim trunks. By 1972 “Mod Ken” was introduced with rooted hair and attachable facial hair, so his owner could give him a mustache and/or beard.

In 1992 “Totally Hair Ken” came on the market and included a tube of styling gel to work into his abundance of rooted hair. I didn’t make this stuff up.

There has been Superstar Ken, Hippie Ken with shoulder length hair, Olympic Medal Winner Ken, Harley Davidson Motorcycle Ken and Dream Date Ken, to name a few.

In celebration of Ken’s 50th birthday Mattel has introduced Sweet Talking Ken, who has a built-in microphone so a five-second recording of whatever you want to say can be made. I can only imagine what I would have done with something like that when I was a kid.

What’s next, Viagra Ken?

Who knows what’s next for Ken, but the way I see it, no matter what his achievements or hair styles he will never be more than a 12-inch piece of plastic to me.