The waiting is the hardest part

On one end of the city, a squealing throng is waiting for Harry Potter. On the other, stomachs are groaning as a different group waits for free chicken wings. Word on the street is that the Rev. Doug Taylor got the two confused and in protest, set fire to a bucket of wings.

Google Plus

I signed up last week. I’ve found no way to poke my friends, sell them corn or demand that they copy my post to show their love for God and country. Thus, I deem it a failure.

Google Plus Plus

Just kidding. Actually, this newest Google product shows promise. I believe I’ll use it for my grownup side, whereas Facebook serves the fifth-grader in me. To recap: if you want to send me reports on the latest pricing trends for indie publishers, use Google Plus. If you got hammered and shaved your cat, use Facebook to send the hilarious photos.

Add me to a circle: plus.google.com/109514985480012598683

Grace under fire

I promised I wouldn’t but I did. I tuned in to the Headline News Channel one more time, after all. I did it only because Casey Anthony was released from jail and Nancy Grace is so distressed over not knowing her whereabouts, she looks like she might punch somebody in the groin at any time.

Don’t lie, Barry

Over the police scanner Tuesday, a dispatcher requested that an officer head over to the “liberry” to handle a dispute. News people cringe at such mispronunciations and when that one came through, the whole place went nuke-u-lar.

Dance party on top of Lewiston parking garage?

Very convenient. Get shot down by three ladies in a row? Whoomp! Right over the side.

Not that I know anything about that kind of thing.

Heat wave!

How hot was it? I was assigned to write a stinking weather story Wednesday and it was too hot to throw a tantrum. Just wait until late September, though. I’ll show them.

Beat the heat

Sometime when I have more space, remind me to list the many reasons why using a Slip ‘n Slide naked is a terrible idea.

The governor’s cabinet

Has been whittled down to about the size of a bread box with yet another resignation offered up last week. I’d say Paul LePage has a bit of explaining to do. I’ll get things started. Governor, why the hell does Marden’s have to plaster everything with price stickers, making it next to impossible to get away with gift shopping on the cheap? Kind of hard to convince the wife that the Brita water filter came right from the dealer when it’s got that unpeelable, blaze orange tag stuck to the front of the box.

There. Let’s see him bluster his way out of that.