Final lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer thoughts, while waiting for the high school kids to practice in the pouring rain tomorrow and start giving me something to really write about:

• I have seen the fatal flaw, and his name is John Lackey.

Not breaking any new ground there. We all know Lackey has been egregious by the standards of a 5-year, $82.5-million contract.

But do you realize just how historically bad he’s been for a Boston Red Sox team that otherwise has the potential to be historically great?

Spent an hour digging for this nugget of fool’s gold after the 1 a.m. conclusion of Friday night’s game in Seattle. Finally found it by the grace of God, Google and a blog known as Recondite Baseball.

No pitcher in the history of Major League Baseball has won more than 15 games in a season that saw him accumulate an ERA above six.

The three who got to 15 did their dealing before dudes wore batting helmets: Ad Gumbert in 1894, Guy Bush in 1930 and Wes Ferrell in 1938.

(You’re welcome. I’ll work on my resume and cover letter for that job opening at Elias Sports Bureau a little later.)

Lackey’s numbers after his latest win by virtue of Boston’s superior firepower: 11-8, 6.15.

Divide the games remaining by five and Lackey probably has nine starts to go. Heck, the way the Sox are mashing it lately, he might get to 20 wins.

If the season ended now, Lackey would be only the 24th pitcher in history to amass double-digit victories with such an un-six-cessful ERA. Some of his modern-era siblings in that statistical family: Mike Morgan, Pedro Astacio, Dave Burba, Ramon Martinez, Jason Marquis and Darren Oliver.

Yuck.

Now, tell me: Are you comfortable going into October with Lackey as your likely No. 3 starter behind Josh Beckett and Jon Lester?

Against the champion of a watered-down American League Central, sure. Versus the Yankees and their own egregiously overpaid, underperforming, eminently hittable right-hander, A.J. Burnett, no problem.

But assuming that the Phillies survive the National League playoffs, that would leave Lackey locking horns with Cliff Lee (12-7, 2.83) or Cole Hamels (13-6, 2.53) twice in a seven-game series.

Starting to think I’d rather cast my lot with Tim Wakefield‘s knuckleball, Clay Buchholz’s chiropractor or Andrew Miller’s sports psychologist.

• Another University of Maine football season started this week. Can you feel (or contain) the excitement?

Didn’t think so. Maybe your enthusiasm, along with mine, is tempered by a preseason coaches’ poll that slotted Maine ninth out of 11 teams in the Colonial Athletic Association, just ahead of expansion Old Dominion and perennial non-factor Towson.

Maine football has been no shrinking violet in Coach Jack Cosgrove’s tenure. At last check, the Black Bears boasted more active NFL players than any other Football Championship Subdivision (I-AA, for my fellow old-timers) program. They’ve won playoff games and beaten nationally ranked opponents.

Just not regularly. Or recently.

The football program is starting to give off the vibe that spelled the end of an era for the baseball program after that magical run from 1979 to ’86.

Combine the mostly miserable November-to-March weather with a lipstick-on-a-pig approach to improving the physical facilities, and it gets more and more difficult for Maine to compete with the southern schools in its league.

I hear and appreciate Cosgrove’s defiance when he bristles at the suggestion that Maine deemphasize its program or move into a perceived lesser conference. But how much longer does it make sense to stay in the Colonial, where William & Mary, James Madison, Richmond and Delaware each contend for the national championship every year and all are 600 or more miles away?

In an economic climate that sees schools even dropping the sport, sliding into the Northeast Conference would be a wise preemptive strike. Shorter travel, a more manageable schedule and an easier route to the national playoff every year are a win-win-win.

Or the Black Bears can continue carrying around that sinful pride and set themselves up to lose-lose-lose.

• Tom Brady. Brian Hoyer. Ryan Mallett. No NFL team has a stronger quarterback depth chart situation going into the 2011 season than the New England Patriots. It isn’t even close.

• Conservative crowd prediction for the Indy race at New Hampshire Motor Speedway this afternoon: 18,000.

Hey, I enjoy the open-wheel division. Its races often are more entertaining than the televised NASCAR alternative on Sundays. But that horse has left the barn and its potential jockeys (Gordon, Stewart, Kahne, Newman, etc.) all have left the paddock for the greener pastures of stock car stardom. Indy racing will be forever irrelevant at every United States track and market except for its namesake.

• Tiger Woods is done. That isn’t piling on. It’s just cold, hard truth. The sooner he realizes it, the more quickly we can all go about watching highlights from the greatest 12-year run in golf history and remind ourselves how great he was, thereby salvaging his legacy.

• Happy New Year, high school athletes. As I hinted earlier, knowing that you’re out there gearing up for another season puts spring in a middle-aged sportswriter’s summer step.

Now work hard. Stay hydrated. Make good decisions off the field. Don’t lose your personality when I hold that tape recorder six inches away from your face. And above all else, enjoy the moment, because life doesn’t get any more fun and carefree than this.

Kalle Oakes is a staff columnist. His email is [email protected].