“Are you ever wrong?” And, “how often do you admit it?” You might think what kind of article is this? It doesn’t sound like any fun. I agree, honestly answering these questions can be unsettling. However, for someone actually interested in self-improvement, they are legitimate questions.
If we cannot admit when we are wrong, we often find ourselves defending inaccurate positions. We do this to protect our egos. Is that constructive? Does that naturally lead to self-improvement?
There are at least two types of honesty at work here. First, are we honest with ourselves? Can we admit to ourselves that one or more of our ideas or positions aren’t accurate? This is the most dangerous type of not admitting we are wrong. This is self-deceit. Is it possible to build a strong base for self-improvement on deceit? Second, there is the inability to admit when we are wrong to others. In critical situations, not correcting our mistakes or inaccurate information could harm others.
Remember the saying, “honesty is the best policy?” Recent surveys say that only a minority among us believes honesty is important. Some actually believe it is an impediment to success. If some situations are proper occasions to mislead purposely, how do we determine which ones? Do you agree that not admitting a known mistake to others is dishonesty?
Here are a few suggestions on how to recognize, admit and survive mistakes and inaccuracies.
• Accept that no one is right all the time. Tom Watson, the founder of IBM said, “to increase the success rate, double the failure rate.” He meant we all must take risks, and sometimes chances, to arrive at the success we want. Admit the failures, learn from them, and build on what you’ve learned.
• If a mistake affects others negatively, admit it, apologize and move on. Often, apologizing is not easy. I, and many others I’ve seen, try to avoid it, gloss over it or laugh it away. Directly admitting our mistakes with a sincere tone will likely make both parties feel better.
• Try to learn from mistakes so you don’t repeat them. “Insanity is repeating the same behavior and expecting a different result,” – Werner Erhart. “Those who do not learn from history are condemned to repeat it.” – Bismarck.
• When you make a mistake, be careful not to continue to berate yourself. Admit the mistake to yourself. Commit to yourself not to repeat the behavior. Forgive yourself if necessary. Then move forward with a positive attitude.
Tim O’Brien writes continuing-education courses and presents seminars on stress management.
Comments are no longer available on this story