My wife has a magic hat. It has opened opportunities that she once denied herself. The magic hat transforms itself. Sometimes, the magic hat is brown with a rim. Other times it is black with a bill, or it has even taken on the appearance of a baseball cap!

Here is how we found the magic hat. “You want to go out to dinner?” I asked on very short notice. “No, we can’t, I’d have to do my hair and I don’t feel like it right now,” she answered. “Just put on a hat and you’ll be fine, you look good in hats.” At first she did not buy my idea about the hat. Then I told her where I had in mind to go to eat. It was a casual restaurant with a very delicious special of the day. “Oh, okay, we probably won’t see anyone we know.” I believe she said that simply to justify agreeing to go.

So, she picked a favorite, black floppy hat without a rim. She placed it just so, and off we went. We had a wonderful dinner and time together. After 34 years, we still enjoy each other’s company and a quiet night out.

Well, when we got home, I said, “Now that wasn’t so bad was it? We even saw people we knew and no one cringed. I think the hat was magic!” She laughed and agreed that the hat did look good, and hid her mildly unkempt hair very well. She also agreed it was fun to have gone out on short notice, run into people we enjoy, and had a very good meal.

A few weeks later, I wanted to try my luck again and asked if she wanted to go on a run to Wal-Mart. Her initial reaction was the same as before, about not being ready, hair not done etc. Then I suggested, “Why not wear your magic hat?” She thought and then said, “But black won’t go with what I have on.” I felt daring, “Why not try the beige?” She looked as if a light had gone on inside her. “Yes, that might work.” We were soon on our way out.

From that day on, whenever we want to go somewhere on short notice or under time constraints, we both know it is potentially a time for “The Magic Hat!”

So, what is the moral of this story? There are two. First, find a way to allow yourself to enjoy spontaneity. It keeps life interesting and is simply fun if not overdone. Second, be careful about being a slave to fashion or your looks. Certainly, maintain a sense of decorum and good taste. Do dress appropriately for the situation. However, don’t keep yourself from enjoying a potentially good outing or event simply because you don’t have time, the inclination or energy to dress to the nines.

Tim O’Brien writes continuing-education courses and presents seminars on stress management.