Mr. Bag Lady recently found himself in an existential pickle, right there in the cereal aisle.

The wife had asked for Cheerios.

But did she really mean Cheerios? Like, really?

Or did she mean to say generic Tasty Os because she’s frugal like that?

He stood there debating. Then grabbed the real Cheerios.

He did good.

Cheerios are about the only thing Bag Lady refuses to eat the generic version of, finding those sweet-yet-wholesome brand name Os worth every extra penny. For Shopping Siren, the brand name deal-breaker is Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. (Sure it’s just dry elbow macaroni and orange cheese-flavored powder, but oh, what orange cheese-flavored powder it is.) For every other foodstuff and basic household necessity we’re both generally happy to go no-name, low-cost.

But we wondered: Who’s got the generic edge? So, shopping carts firmly under hand, we headed off to Shaw’s, Hannaford and Wal-Mart to price-compare each store’s generics. Finds are listed cheap, cheaper and cheapest, by volume.
• Acetaminophen

Equaline Extra-Strength, Shaw’s, 50 count/$4.29

Hannaford Extra-Strength Pain Reliever, 50 count/$3.99

Equate Extra-Strength Pain Reliever, Wal-Mart, 24 count/98 cents, 100 count/$2.58
Nothing gives us a bigger headache than paying more for something than we have to. Especially acetaminophen.

• Ice cream

Great Value ice cream, Wal-Mart, 1.75 quarts, $2.50
Shoppers Value ice cream, Shaw’s, 2 quarts, $2.69
Hannaford ice cream, 1.5 quarts, $2

With flavors like rocky road and cookies and cream, Hannaford offered the most sophisticated selection of ice cream. Wal-Mart had the largest selection, including strawberry, French vanilla and butter pecan. Shaw’s . . . well, Shaw’s was out of chocolate. Not a selling point for Shopping Siren, who believes all ice cream should be chocolate.

• Dog food

Hannaford premium chunk, 34 lbs., $15.99
Shoppers Value, Shaw’s, 32 lbs., $13.99
Old Roy complete nutrition, Wal-Mart, 44 lbs., $17.50
Cheap dog food is great, especially if you have a large dog. Or more than one large dog. But it becomes dramatically less of a deal if Fido insists on pining for your steak dinner instead.

• Bleach

Homelife, Shaw’s, 3 quarts, $1.89
Hannaford bleach, 3 quarts, $1.69
Great Value bleach, Wal-Mart, 3 quarts, $1.52

This summer, Bag Lady accidentally bleached the sleeve of her favorite sweatshirt, a gift last Christmas from Mr. BL, and has managed not to tell him about it yet. (Involves lots of stiff arm gestures and always backing out of the room.) The experience has led to a new-found respect for bleach. Saving 37 cents? Also respectable.

• Toasted rice cereal (generic Rice Krispies)
Shaw’s Crispy Rice, 12 oz., $2.39
Hannaford Crispy Rice, 12 oz., $2.29
Great Value Crisp Rice, Wal-Mart, 18 oz., $2.29
Hmm. Crisp and crispy rice. The names don’t exactly inspire. Though it could be worse; Hannaford also offered Crispy Hexagons. Still, names be damned! Taste is everything. So we put the crisp and crispy rice to the test, the only generic we tried this week. Could they compete with the long favored Rice Krispies? Turns out yes, yes they could. Although the boxes were dramatically different (Shaw’s was covered in pretty colors; the back of Hannaford’s box offered hurricane fun facts; Wal-Mart was plain-Jane blue and white, hearkening back to the generic days of old), the cereal inside tasted suspiciously similar. Light, crunchy and toasty, all reminded us of Rice Krispies. The Shaw’s cereal, however, had more of a . . . corny flavor? Which makes no sense for rice cereal. Shopping Siren was intrigued by it. Bag Lady, not so much.

Next week: Trash bags, kitty litter and more, plus no-name soda put to the test.

Bag Lady and Shopping Siren’s true identities are protected by a pair of stylish, sweater-wearing Doberman pinschers (who enjoy a good pig ear, no matter the brand) and the Customer Service counter at the Sun Journal. You can reach them at [email protected] or [email protected]