HOUSTON – Welcome to the No Superstar Super Bowl.
This is the first roman numeral extravaganza in recent NFL memory that doesn’t have a marquee player, or somebody with a catchy nickname or, sadly, anyone even vaguely outlandish.
There is no John Elway or Joe Montana. No Marshall Faulk or Emmitt Smith. No “Mean Joe” or “Refrigerator.”
The two teams, in general, are as bland as a 1970s sitcom. There are no Purple People Eaters, no Killer B’s. The curtain here, if there is one, is more flimsy than steel. This Super Bowl is not about Doomsday. It’s about Gloomsday.
There is no primary figure around whom the week will revolve.
No major, colorful personality reporters will flock to when Tuesday’s media stampede begins with the first interviews on the floor of Houston’s Reliant Stadium.
There is no Warren Sapp or Deion Sanders. No John Riggins or Keyshawn Johnson.
The Patriots and Panthers are conservative, no-frill teams that feature overpowering defenses, but even those units are lacking in recognizable names. You won’t find a Ray Lewis or a Ronnie Lott or a Jack Lambert among this group.
The closest thing to a charismatic presence in this game is New England quarterback Tom Brady, and he didn’t even win an invitation to the Pro Bowl. For most of the season, Brady was overshadowed by the league’s co-MVPs, the Colts’ Peyton Manning and the Titans’ Steve McNair, both of whom also reside in the AFC.
Not even the coaches have much star power in this game.
There is none of the electricity generated by Jon Gruden or Jimmy Johnson. There won’t be the personal magnetism of a Bill Walsh or a Bill Parcells.
The Patriots’ understated Bill Belichick usually walks around wearing a hooded sweatshirt, looking like he just arrived from a workout at the local YMCA. The Panthers’ low-profile John Fox isn’t much better, with his large, lumbering body making him appear little like the lean kid who grew up surfing in Virginia Beach, Va.
Super Bowl XXXVIII will be about the teams, not the individuals.
“We’re a very humble team,” said Patriots safety Rodney Harrison, the ex-San Diego Charger, on Monday. “We understand that this team isn’t made up of individuals. It’s a team. That’s the ultimate definition of us – team. Guys really don’t care who gets the recognition, who gets the MVP or who’s going to the Pro Bowl. It doesn’t matter. It’s about us playing together and not caring about the individual.”
The Panthers’ Jake Delhomme, this year’s out-of-obscurity quarterback, doesn’t arrive the way the Rams’ Kurt Warner did four years ago. He doesn’t come in as the league’s MVP and the dominant player on his roster.
Typifying the atmosphere of the week, Delhomme shows up as more of a complementary player. He made his share of big plays during the season. A team doesn’t make it to the Super Bowl without significant contributions from its quarterback.
But this isn’t a guy who wins games for the Panthers. He is a quarterback, much like the Ravens’ Trent Dilfer three years ago, whose main mission is not to lose games.
It’s as if Carolina’s entire image is based on its glaring lack of identity.
“We’ve been dealing with this all through the playoffs,” Fox said Monday. “Our guys have taken the approach that we’re going to control those things we can, and that won’t change this week.
“The perception on the outside is something I can’t change. The perception on the inside is that we believe we belong, and we’ll give it our best shot.”
For the media, these next few days will be the Super Bowl equivalent of “Star Search.”
OK, you guys. Let’s hear your audition. Give us your best one-liners. Let’s see if you really belong.
They say Brentson Buckner, the Carolina defensive tackle, is a great quote. If he is, this is his chance. Under this much scrutiny, you can only hope he doesn’t bobble the chance the way another Buckner once did on a major sporting stage.
Maybe the Patriots’ Ty Law can intercept questions as well as he intercepts passes. We can only hope.
Perhaps Stephen Davis, the Panthers’ Pro Bowl running back, will be more eager to gain the notoriety he deserves.
“Stephen is our one superstar,” Delhomme said, “but he doesn’t really want to be one.”
New England’s defense deserves to be famous. The only problem is that its whole shtick is about disguising everything. Their linebackers play up front, their linemen drop back into coverage. These guys give you more different looks than Johnny Depp.
How do you build them up when no one is even sure how to describe them? It’s not easy, folks.
If the Patriots are so hot, how come none of the Democratic Presidential candidates in New Hampshire have put in a good word about them? It couldn’t be because next week’s primary is in Carolina, could it?
Of course, no one is too sure it wants Howard Dean leading its cheers based on that post Iowa caucus performance last week. Then again, at least we know who Dean is. That’s more than we can say for most of these faceless gentlemen in Houston.
Things have grown so strained here already, look for a huge media gathering to flock around the now infamous “He Hate Me” refugee from the dear, departed XFL.
That’s right, Carolina’s Rod Smart figures to be one of the primary targets of the media horde on Tuesday.
You’ll excuse this veteran correspondent if he doesn’t join the charge. These are desperate times, but I’m not that desperate. As far as Smart is concerned, I might as well have my own nickname this week.
It’s “He Avoid Me.”
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(c) 2004, The Orange County Register (Santa Ana, Calif.).
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AP-NY-01-26-04 2210EST
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