Another birthday has come and gone without much fanfare or excitement. I like it that way. With each passing year I prefer less and less acknowledgment that another number has been added to my age.

I’m not the kind of woman who won’t admit to her age; being 60 doesn’t really bother me. What bothers me is the increase in aches and pains and the sags and bags. What bothers me even more are the indignities aging people must endure just to make sure they stay healthy.

A few days before my birthday I experienced a new indignity in the form of a colonoscopy. Let me just say that I think it is great that there is such a procedure that can scope out potential cancer polyps and remove them before they cause a problem. Let me further say that there has to be a better way.

The actual procedure was of minimal discomfort and fortunately the drugs that they give you put you in a state of not really caring that a flexible tube is being stuffed into the length of your small intestine through the back door.

The difficult part is preparing for it the night before. You have to go through the day consuming nothing but clear liquids. Being one who enjoys a hearty meal I found herbal tea a poor substitute.

If the fasting isn’t enough to put you in a bit of a foul mood, the purging procedure certainly will. One must drink a gallon of salty brew in a two-hour period. It is recommended to drink 8 ounces every 10 minutes.

That may not be a chore for some people, but I am a sipper, not a gulper and it was one heck of a chore for me.

I started drinking the concoction in the kitchen, but it didn’t take too long before I moved the show into the bathroom. There is an old saying that what goes in must come out and that happens to be very true.

Being a full-time worker and busy housewife I always thought having two or three hours of being lost in a good book without anyone bothering me would be heaven. Doing this in a comfortable chair while sipping a gourmet coffee probably is heaven, but doing it on a hard toilet seat while forcing a salty brine down your throat brings a more southern location to mind.

After a couple of hours of reading, drinking and purging I certainly wasn’t thinking of angels and harp music. Toilet seats can get mighty uncomfortable after a while, but you can’t exactly get up and move around to get the circulation going. One must remain seated during the entire performance. I did get through it, though a few times I had serious doubts.

I am happy to say that the procedure went fine and no cancer was detected and considering what I went through I guess the peace of mind was worth it.

The one thing that gave me comfort during the drink and purge period was knowing that this is one procedure that men as well an women have to endure. I figure that because men have a much harder time dealing with such indignities they will eventually develop a blood test that will serve the same purpose as a colonoscopy.

Let’s not forget that the discomfort and embarrassment of the digital exam for prostate cancer led to the PSA blood test. And to think, all they had to do was turn their head and cough with the doctor’s finger placed where the sun don’t shine and that was a bit too much for them.

I kind of wish that men could experience more of the indignities that us women go through. If they had to deal with being trussed up like a turkey with their knees up against their chests for a pap smear or have a certain part of their anatomy put in a vice grip like a mammography machine I think things would be different.

The first time a man has to put his feet in stirrups and push his butt down to hang over the end of an examining table, well, the way I see it, the men would certainly find a better way.