JAY – The formula for a long-running marriage is: Don’t hold grudges and expect ups and downs.

Herschel and Lauristine Welch know. They’ve been married 50 years.

“You’ve got to have bad times so you can appreciate the good times,” said Lauristine, 67. Herschel, 69, agreed.

His parents, Alton and Chrystal Welch of Wilton, celebrated their 70th anniversary in February.

Alton, 92, offered a nugget of advice: “Do what your wife says. If the queen bee is happy in the house, the whole household is happy.”

Likewise, Crystal, 91, often agrees with her husband. “I say, ‘Yes, dear.'”

Picking apples

The younger Welch couple met when they were high school students at Wilton Academy. “It was Farmington Fair time. If you wanted money, you had to earn it,” Lauristine said.

She went to work picking apples. There was Herschel.

She attracted his eye.

“The first thing I said to her was, ‘Where have you been all my life?'” he said. “She was pretty. She had a good personality. I asked her to the fair. We just kept on.”

They went to movies and dances.

Two years into their romance, “Guess what? I got pregnant,” Lauristine said with a laugh. They married in December 1956 in the church parsonage.

Today, wedding photos and 50th anniversary dishes are displayed in their living room. Their recent anniversary party featured a ’50s sock hop complete with poodle skirts.

The parents of three sons and eight grandchildren, both are retired, she from G.H. Bass and he from the Jay School Department where he worked as a custodian and bus driver.

A sense of humor and lots of love is critical in a marriage, Lauristine said. “We never really stay mad at each other. If we were mad at each other during the day, it was over by night.”

Herschel agreed. “She’s a good friend.”

Childhood friends

Alton and Crystal met in 1927 when they were children. He lived in North Jay and was visiting his uncle in Wilton. She was there with other girls picking mayflowers.

“She came up with a big bouquet. She went in the house and put talcum power in the flowers,” Alton said. “She came out and stuck it right in my face! I thought, ‘What a silly kid. I didn’t realize in another 10 years I’d be calling her my wife.”

When they were older they went to grange meetings and dances.

They married in 1937 after she finished normal school. They still live in the house they built in 1950. Before retiring, both worked for G.H. Bass.

They had three sons, Herschel, Herman and Hartley. Hartley works for a shoe company in China. “He’s old enough to retire,” Alton said. “When I got married I never expected to live long enough to see my kids draw Social Security,” he mused.

“It’s a blessing,” Chrystal said.

They have nine grandchildren, more than 20 great-grandchildren and one great-great-grandchild. “We had one sad episode. Our middle son died when he was 31,” Alton said.

“He died of cancer,” Chrystal said tearing up. Herman left four young children. “He just worshipped his family. He was very active, ambitious. You wouldn’t think anything could ail him.”

It’s still hard to talk about Herman, she said. “But sometimes talking gives us relief, too.”

Both said they’ve had a good life.

“I’d be lost if I didn’t have her,” Alton said.

Chrystal smiled, touched his hand and said, “Thank you.”