By Bonnie Washuk,Staff Writer

LEWISTON – What to do if you’re in your 40s or 50s, single, and would like to date?

Elaine DuMais of Lewiston and Mark Anderson of Limerick have been there.

They’ve been girlfriend and boyfriend for years. She, in her early 50s, works in marketing for St. Mary’s Hospital. He, 46, works in commercial insurance.

When they met he had just ended a long-term relationship. She was divorced.

“I was kind of scared about getting back in the dating field, I hadn’t done it for so long,” he said. “It’s not like when you’re 20 and you have all kinds of clubs to hang out and meet people.”

He tried the personal ads. That was a good experience, he said. He met DuMais on the Internet, in AOL’s match service. She read his profile and sent him an e-mail.

He asked her to send him a picture. He liked how she looked. They exchanged mails, chatted on the phone, then got together for a date.

Both recommend that middle-aged singles consider the Internet.

“People our age, we’re not hanging out in bars,” she said. “And a lot of people you meet in bars are not people you want to have a relationship with. The Internet gives you opportunity, although you have to be careful, to know a little bit about them before you meet them.”

DuMais liked what Anderson wrote in his profile.

“He sounded like a regular guy,” she said. “He had his own home and wasn’t looking for somebody to take care of him. He was independent, employed, had it together.”

Then 42, Anderson said he was thinking he wanted to date a woman in her 30s, an age he assumed DuMais was. “We were well into our first date when she kind of throws it out there. She said, I’m 49.’ I guess my jaw must have hit the table!”

“He was really shocked,” Elaine said, laughing. “He was trying to recover without having me see he was going, Oh, man!'”

The experience taught him to be flexible, Anderson said. “She was about 14 years older than what I was looking for. I might have ruled her out. I’m very glad I didn’t.”

She didn’t let the fact that he never married stop her from seeing him.

Other women were sometimes uncomfortable with that, he said, which he finds odd. “Would they rather he be divorced four times? Which is better?”

A middle-aged man who never married can be a red flag, DuMais said. “When women get together and talk, they figure there’s no way they’re ever going to make a commitment.”

Both Anderson and DuMais said they’re happy with their busy, separate lives during the week and seeing each other every weekend. They admire much about each other.

“He’s fun-loving, upbeat, very positive,” she said. DuMais likes that he keeps a neat house, has strong family values, is a hard worker and open to new experiences.

“She’s pretty,” he said. “She’s smart. She’s a very understanding person. I like just about everything about her.”