DEAR ABBY: I have been married to “Jack” for 25 years. Jack is not unfaithful, nor does he drink or beat me. He has high morals and claims to be a Christian. He is a stepfather to my four grown children.

Jack says that when my son was a teenager, he and some of his friends stole things from our garage and a piece of jewelry from our bedroom. (My son is now 28 and married with two children.)

We have a large bonus room in our home that contains expensive recording equipment and musical instruments. Jack keeps this room locked unless he’s at home. Even when he goes out and I stay home, Jack locks the door. Jack recently bought a new, very large storage shed that has a lock on it, too – and only one key. He also keeps a post office box for which I don’t have a key.

I have asked my husband nicely for keys to these spaces. Jack either ignores my requests or gives me reasons why I “don’t need” keys. This is beginning to create a wedge between us.

I work every day at a well-paying job and contribute as much as Jack does to our income. Our children are long gone, and we live alone in our home. I have given him no reason not to trust me. Help! – LOCKED OUT IN TENNESSEE

DEAR LOCKED OUT: Tell your husband that you do “need” keys to the bonus room, the shed and the P.O. box because you feel locked out of his life. Although everyone needs a little privacy, your husband’s need appears to be growing. What could he be getting at the post office that he doesn’t want delivered to your mailbox? People as secretive as your husband usually have something to hide. It may take marriage counseling to get to the bottom of this, but do not let the subject drop until this is resolved.

DEAR ABBY: I am 10 years old. My best friend, “Elizabeth,” can’t communicate with her mom or her new stepdad because every night and day they go out to bars and get very drunk. Elizabeth’s mom is disabled, and she is always trying to kill herself.

She can’t say “hi,” “good morning” or “I love you” to her mom because they don’t have time to talk to her. They tell her they have to work, but they go to the bars instead.

Can you give me some advice on what I can do to help Elizabeth? – CARING FRIEND, OLYMPIA, WASH.

DEAR CARING FRIEND: How sad that when parents were handed out, your friend was so severely shortchanged. Although you can’t improve her home situation, you can let her know she is welcome to spend as much time with you as your parents will allow, and if she needs to talk, your mother will listen and help if she can. You may be only 10, but that would be a generous and powerful favor to extend to someone who needs one.

DEAR ABBY: Do you know what the term “grass widow” means? How did it originate, and is it disrespectful? – INSULTED – MAYBE, IN SPARTANBURG, S.C.

DEAR INSULTED – MAYBE: Although various dictionaries differ on the date of origin, according to “American Slang,” the abridged edition of the “New Dictionary of American Slang” by Robert L. Chapman (Harper Paperbacks), the moniker dates back to the late 1800s. It is used to describe, “A woman who is alone because of divorce, separation, rejection, etc. (because her husband is still above the grass rather than under it).” I’m sad to say that historically the term has not been used as a compliment because at one time it was used to describe a “discarded mistress.”

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.