DEAR ABBY: A woman I’ll call “Millie” has been like a second mother to me. Millie has been with “Jack” for a long time. When I was little, Jack fondled me, but I never told anyone.

Seven years ago, Jack was convicted of child molestation. He has just been released from prison.

I’m being married in October, and Millie plans to bring Jack to my wedding. Should I tell people with small children that he’s a pedophile, or should I ask Millie not to bring him? She would prefer I not tell anyone that he’s a pedophile.

My fiance doesn’t want him there, and I’m having a hard time deciding what to do. Any help you could offer would be greatly appreciated. – BRIDE-TO-BE, BERWICK, PA.

DEAR BRIDE-TO-BE: Allow me to make the decision for you. Tell your “second mother” that Jack victimized you when you were little, and he’s not welcome at your wedding, because neither you nor your fiance wants him there. Child molesters are supposed to avoid places where there are small children, and he probably shouldn’t be there, anyway.

Now that he’s out of prison, Jack should be listed on your state’s sex-offender Web site. However, to make absolutely certain he doesn’t take advantage of any children in your family, their parents should be warned. Had your parents been warned, you might have been spared.

DEAR ABBY: I am a counselor and never thought I’d need to write to Dear Abby, but this one has me stumped. Two days before my 83-year-old mother died, Dad called her younger sister, “Aunt Betty,” to let her know that Mom’s death was imminent. During that conversation, Aunt Betty told him my mother had “run around” as a girl, caused problems for the family, and had sex with several boys in her school. Dad was devastated at this news.

It is now a year and a half later, and Daddy is still depressed about this. He’s very angry at Aunt Betty, and so am I. She did a terrible thing, revealing these secrets when her sister was literally on her deathbed. Aunt Betty justified it by saying “the truth” should come out.

I have tried to let this go, but I’m so angry at her that I think I should tell her how deeply her words have affected us. What do you think? – RESENTFUL IN OREGON

DEAR RESENTFUL: If I thought the scolding would do any good, I’d say go ahead, but I don’t think it will. That your mother’s sister would seek to tarnish her memory shows how jealous and resentful your aunt was of your mother. What makes you think it’s true just because she said it? Your mother was a good wife and loving mother, and whatever might have happened before is unimportant. I recommend a hefty dose of amnesia: Forget your mother ever had a sister. Both you and your father will be happier.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I are going head-to-head about whose name should appear first on letters, address labels, etc. We live together but are not engaged, and we send out cards as well as receive them from couples in similar circumstances.

I believe the woman’s name should come first, but he says the man’s name should be first whether you’re dating, engaged or married. Who is right? – NEEDS TO BE SURE, WALDORF, MD.

DEAR NEEDS TO BE SURE: According to the 16th edition of Emily Post’s Etiquette, you are correct. Not only should the woman’s name come first, it should be written on the line above the man’s.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.