DEAR ABBY: I am 40 years old and have a close friend whom I have known since elementary school. She has been married for many years and has a beautiful home and family.

Abby, my friend is addicted to painkillers. She will cut herself or burn herself just so she can go to the ER to get pills. She goes to different hospitals and urgent care centers each time.

I have an ongoing medical condition, and she has begged me for my pills (which I need), offered to buy them from me and become irate when I refused. She has even told me that she offers to pay for other people’s prescriptions if they’ll give her half their pills.

This is putting a damper on our friendship, and I’m not sure what to do. Your thoughts, please. – WORRIED IN WICHITA

DEAR WORRIED: Your friend is a prescription drug addict. She will need professional help to kick that habit, and possibly a support group thereafter. The kindest thing you could do for her is to tell her husband what you have told me, so he can alert her doctor and find help for her.

DEAR ABBY: My 10-year-old son, “Fritz,” is lying to me. He is given 25 cents every school day for milk at lunch. Lately, I have been finding this money in his pocket when I do laundry. When I asked my son about it, Fritz looked me straight in the eye and told me the price of milk went up to 35 cents last September. I know for a fact this is not true.

My husband, “Frank,” thinks this is no big deal, but for me the fact that Fritz is looking me in the eye and lying to me is very serious. If he’s lying about this small issue at 10, what will he be doing in five years? How can I ever be sure he’s telling the truth?

There are many other issues involving our children where Frank refuses to back me up. I’m ready to throw in the towel and leave him to deal with it all. I’m exhausted and can’t fight it anymore. I’m afraid to even suggest family therapy. Frank would never be physically abusive, but I’m afraid that he would just shut down emotionally. The only thing we have going for us is that he’s a great dad. Take that away, and I’m afraid we will fall apart completely. – WORN OUT IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR WORN OUT: Under no circumstances must you tolerate your son lying to you. Tell him you are going to check on his story, and if it turns out to be untrue, you will be forced to punish him. Give him a chance to own up. If he comes clean – could it be he doesn’t like milk? – do not punish him. If he continues to lie, then you must take away enough of his privileges that he will forevermore remember the penalty for lying.

P.S. Please wake up to the fact that “great dads” do not turn a blind eye when their children lie or misbehave. Nor do they fail to back their spouse when it comes to discipline, hoping to make themselves look good at the other’s expense. If all that’s holding your marriage together is the illusion that your husband is a great dad, you two are in serious trouble. However, until you are both willing to work on it, nothing will change. You have my sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: I am a Caucasian woman married to a Filipino man. We have a 9-month-old daughter. The problem is that strangers come up to me and ask if my daughter is adopted. I find this extremely offensive. What can I say to these people? – TEACHING TOLERANCE IN TAMPA

DEAR TEACHING TOLERANCE: Just say no – and keep walking.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.