Blonde hair. First names. Hand-shaking. Heavy back-packs. You never know what to expect. . .

It’s the end of October – already. Whether we’re prepared for November or not, it’s coming just like it always does. It’s hard to believe I have already been here for almost three months! I guess I’ve been here for a while; not long enough to want to go home but certainly long enough to feel like I’ve gotten the hang of city life. I’ve also noticed a few things about the Swedes here in general. Every country has some little thing about it that, under closer inspection, can have an element of humor in it.

Sweden is known for blond-haired, blue-eyed, fair-skinned people. This way, it’s very hard to be an individual if you’re born with light hair just like everyone else. That’s why the most rebellious thing you can possibly do is dye your hair black. Many of my fellow classmates have come to school and had red highlights or some other color, but the most noticeable is black. I think it’s funny. Their beautiful blond hair is just so usual that they have to get rid of it because they’re so sick of it. I noticed that on the first day of school.

That’s not, however the only thing I noticed. My mom had told me that students called their teachers by their first names, but I either didn’t think about it much or did not believe that it was still like that these days. (Not that you’re old, Mamma…) Any way, my first day of school I was still a little nervous about what I was supposed to call my teachers. They introduced themselves as Agneta, Urban and Anders, and they mentioned their last names. I decided to just not speak to them, that way I wouldn’t need to even think about what to call them. I should have known that was not going to work; at some point I was going to need to find a bathroom, but I did not talk to any of them until I heard someone else ask them questions – and they used their first names. It still felt wrong, but I did it, too.

There are terms you can use that are similar to Mr. and Mrs., which are Herr and Fru respectively. In talking to a member of the family, I learned you’re not supposed to use theses terms because the people might be offended. I hope you are as confused as I was; adults wanted to be called by their first names, and if you used Mr. and Mrs., they might be offended! This is so different from the American culture I am used to. Apparently, when using these terms you mean to say that the person is old enough to be called Herr or Fru and, therefore, imply that they are very very old.

As with any cultures, the peoples’ idea of etiquette varies, and I don’t think I’m quite used to Sweden’s way of being polite. When greeting a person older than yourself or, if you’re pretty old, someone the same age as you, you always shake hands. Always. For me, you just look at the person you’re greeting, nod your head, smile occasionally and they know that you mean hello. Not here, though.

For instance, just last night my mormor and morfar and I were invited to someone else’s house for dinner. I found out after we arrived that there were to be some other guests, and when they arrived I smiled and nodded at them both. They came over to the rest of us who were all looking at embroidered napkins that were very detailed. One of the people that had just come came over to me and held out his hand so I handed him a napkin so he could look, too. Everyone got quiet all of a sudden, and I looked up to see him looking at the napkin (with a shocked expression I might add) and then back to me. I was supposed to shake his hand!!! I stood up quickly and apologized, thankfully everyone thought it was funny. This is one thing I have to learn soon!

Lastly comes my favorite. This happened in French class, and I thought I should share with the students at home who are in the process of breaking their backs with their backpacks. First I should say that I have had to buy a new backpack since I got here because my L.L. Bean model is far too big. We don’t get books and when we do they are thin, and I can’t even feel them in my bag. The heaviest book we’ve received is in French class and it’s about a quarter the size of a normal book at EL. A quarter of the size. Last Friday the teacher told us to take our books out and turn to page 75. No one moved. They had not brought their books with them and the teacher asked why.

“Because they’re so heavy,” said one girl with bushy eyebrows; everyone agreed.

I could not help myself, I just started laughing. I really thought they were kidding. Again, I had made a fool of myself as I looked around to see everyone staring at me. They were not joking. I couldn’t believe it!! I wanted to make them carry around a 25 pound backpack for the year and then hear them complain about their “heavy” books! Ha! Of course I didn’t say anything, they wouldn’t think it was so funny, but I still wish I could make them carry any random student’s backpack on any given day at EL.

I’m slowly getting better at my Swedish etiquette and slowly regaining correct posture after two years of heavy backpacks. Wish me luck with this shaking hands thing!

Med varma hlsningar!

Angelika

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