You’ve heard the story a thousand times. A man dressed as a lion walks into a newsroom to talk about his work as a treasure hunter, bear wrestler, chef to the stars, power plant troubleshooter, animal and child advocate, wildlife sprinter, author, ladies man, raccoon-tamer and self-taught martial arts expert who once beat down 17 armed gang members with his bare hands in less than 10 minutes.

Ladies and germs, meet Tiberius Thorn.

He came to see us at the Sun Journal on Friday, prowling into the newsroom to share his many tales of heroism, genius and philanthropy.

Did I mention that he was wearing a lion suit?

“I’ve done just about everything you can imagine that one man can achieve in one lifetime, or maybe 10. Nobody knows how long I’ve actually been alive,” began Tiberius.

Through his own teachings, he explained, he had become a computer expert. And through the Web, he had found tens of thousands of people who needed him. Animals, too. Anyone with a problem, from depression to autism, power plant issues to fleas, can call on Tiberius for help.

“I’ve only slept three hours in the last four days,” he told me. “I still have enough energy for the next month if need be to get done what I need to get done.”

Let’s hope so. Tiberius has a lion’s share of work.

“I studied psychology, biology and every kind of animal science there is on the planet,” he said. “I’ve cooked for Arnold Schwarzenegger and the first lady back in 1991 at the Senator in Augusta. I took a job there just to learn how to be a chef.”

And not just any chef. A master chef.

“I mastered that in eight weeks,” Tiberius said. “A rule for my whole life is to be the best at everything and achieve the highest position wherever I go, within an eight week period.”

Sure, I said, trying not to think of myself as Dorothy in this weird Wizard of Oz re-creation. But that kind of wandering lifestyle has to cost some serious dough, right?

“I generate money by treasure hunting. I don’t use a metal detector. I do research in old libraries, find places that were there but aren’t anymore. I go looking for things.”

He is a master electrician and a mechanic. He hand sews shoes. Reba McEntire calls him all the time for advice on animal matters.

Mere pastimes for Tiberius Thorn. His work with animals is the real cat’s meow. Take for instance when he was 10 years old and was beaten by a black bear who wanted to fight him for a fishing hole.

“The bear knocked me around for 20 minutes. It didn’t scare me away. I looked at him and he looked at me. I said, ‘I do not mind sharing my fishing hole with you, but you are not getting my trout.’ We’ve had an understanding ever since. He fished with me every day after school after that.”

Strength and charm, has Tiberius Thorn. And also speed. Without it, he never would have caught that jack rabbit by the ears. Friends said it couldn’t be done, but Tiberius insisted. He even gave the bunny a 50-yard head start.

“I tore out across that field, zigging and zagging. I leaped through the air, came down, did a tuck and came up with the jack rabbit just like that, right by the ears.”

Is that all?

“After that, I outran a full-grown timber wolf just to prove I could do it.”

I know what you’re thinking: He was dressed as a lion but he seems possessed of a gift more familiar to bulls.

Or was he? My problem with people like Tiberius Thorn is not that they seem to suffer a high form of delusional grandeur. My problem is that I can’t help but think: What if he’s telling the truth?

On my desk at home, I have a stack of notebook paper delivered to the newsroom by a Lisbon Falls man. It is hand-written and the title is “Differential and Integral Multi-Dimensional Knot Theory with Relative Loops.”

It claims to be a work loosely associated with string theory including applications with cybernetics and DNA. It suggests the ability to identify unknown stars based on strange matter.

I have not read the entire paper but I haven’t thrown it away out of apathy and disbelief, either. At one time, Albert Einstein, whose image graces my wall, was an unknown clerk in a patent office, inspiring people to laughter and head-shaking with talk of curved space, frames of reference and a cosmic speed limit.

Look at old Albert now. A half-century dead and people will fork over $30 bucks for a T-shirt with his mug on the front.

I’ll never disregard a person like the Lisbon Falls man who formulated his own theory of knots. I can’t disregard Tiberius Thorn, either. History is filled with great men whose talk of fantastic things once was regarded as lunacy.

The last I saw of Tiberius, he was wending his way through Kennedy Park, risking encounters with mean dogs and animal control officers. Did I mention he was dressed as a lion?

The last words he uttered to me were a promise to reveal someday even grander things.

“I think you’ll be truly amazed,” Tiberius said.

I have a feeling he isn’t lion.

Mark LaFlamme is the Sun Journal crime reporter. You can e-mail him at [email protected].