Trifecta A nearly perfect police radio call rolled into the newsroom on Wednesday. All I heard were three very significant key words, specifically: “urinating” “drive-thru” and “two small dogs.” The mind reels, doesn’t it? In my head, I hear circus music and at least one of the dogs is wearing a tutu. But that’s me. […]
Mark LaFlamme
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Firefighters get kudos for bravery and stuff
In baseball, if a pitcher makes quick work of every batter he faces, the opposing team will invariably say, “Sometimes you just have to tip your cap.” That’s how I feel pretty much every time I watch firefighters do their thing. I say this without snark or hyperbole. Watching firefighters work is humbling because A) […]
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Talk of the town: Picturing you in your underwear
The great debate I have no real insights on the Lewiston mayoral debate, which caused me to wear a tie for the first time since I graduated kindergarten. It was an orderly and dignified affair with no glaring faux pas or embarrassing moments. Don’t you hate when that happens? The highlight for me was two […]
Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Mark LaFlamme, The Franklin Journal
Street Talk: Pull the blinds down on your way out
I’m not going to lie to you. I was a terrible paperboy. If you were on my route and wanted to skim the headlines before work, you were probably out of luck. I’d have it to you by noon, though, I swear. Maybe a little later if my bicycle chain broke or if I was […]
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Talk of the town: You can find the strangest things on the streets of Lewiston
A-maze-ing If you’ve been on Walnut Street in Lewiston lately – and you have, I just know it – you’ve probably noticed how crews spent the whole summer building a strange network of curbs that jut out into the street like the elbows and knees of sprawled giants. The bizarre configuration makes the already cramped […]
Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Lewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Interpreting sirens for beginners
All your life, you tell yourself you’re prepared for it but, when the time comes, there’s shock and disbelief. There’s the disquieting sense that maybe there’s been some mistake. That this simply cannot be. I think I might be the Chosen One. Now, hear me out before you go spraying Irish coffee all over the […]
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Talk of the Town: What happens on Pine Street, stays in this column
I’m frightened and/or flattered So, I got this handwritten letter in the mail and I just don’t know what to make of it. The letter writer might be ebullient or he might be enraged, it’s hard to tell. “You called me out. Well, here I am,” the letter begins. “I’m tired of the bull, so […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Facebook again. What a loser, huh?
Suze would like me to write about autumn traditions. “My kids used to peg apples at each other,” she says. Ah, youth. Dana suggested comparing the use of methamphetamine in Lewiston with the use of methamphetamine on the hit series “Breaking Bad.” “How about tattoos?” Diane said. How about heavy metal, suggests a member of […]
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Talk of the town: The weather makes Mark wear strange things
Hot in the city You know it’s September when you step outside in your fluffy slippers, thermal pantaloons, river driver and earmuffs to find that it’s 90 degrees out there and humid. Something about rats procreating in a wool sock. You’ll go outside tomorrow wearing nothing but a codpiece only to discover that it has […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Street Talk: I can help you with your many, many, many, many problems
Some weeks, I wish I had an advice column. No more wracking my brain for fresh ideas or fetching old columns out of the recycle bin and hoping nobody will notice. Remember the time I did that? No? Well, just forget I said anything about it, then. Yup, an advice column would be just the […]