Mother’s Day Have a happy one, you mothers. Without you, we’d never wash behind our ears. We’d be wearing filthy underwear and you never know when we might be in an accident. Without mothers, we’d pet strange dogs, not knowing where they had been, and we’d talk to strangers. We’d go swimming directly after lunch […]

I won’t lie to you. I sometimes scrounge for column ideas from the news headlines, both nationally and locally. Look hard enough and you can usually find a “Duck Saves Family from Fire” or “Scientists Report that Picking Nose May Lead to Longer Life.”And honestly, how can you not grab those tidbits by the handles […]

Is this thing on? So, on Wednesday I went off on my motorcycle as police were chasing an accused shoplifter in the woods behind Walmart. I have this spiffy new goggle camera that can record the action with the press of a button. The problem is when the action moves indoors. Technically, for the camera […]

CLANG, DING, CLANG On Tuesday, a woman called police to report someone was stealing her wind chimes. That’s no easy feat, chime thievery. You might as well try swiping a steel drum full of ball bearings, it makes so much noise. And I know what I’m talking about, too, after the incident of ’97. Fortunately, […]

Ah, spring. I’ll never forget what my dear old grampa told me when I was just a wee thing no taller than the rhubarb. He sat me on his knee, gazed across his green acres and said … Holy crap, I guess I did forget. Something about spring being like a fickle woman? Something about […]

The hook NASA wants to grab a small asteroid and tow it into orbit around the moon as part of a long-range plan to establish manned outposts in space. You know how this goes. They’ll be promised that the tow truck will arrive within an hour, but of course it will be more like two […]

Les Stroud could hang out at Bartlett and Walnut streets in Lewiston and go largely unnoticed. People would pass him on the sidewalk and offer half-hearted nods. “Survivorman” would just nod right back and mutter, “‘Sup?” Then he’d go into the bar that used to be Del’s and Deck’s and have himself a beer. He […]