Someone needs to isolate human adrenaline, pour it into fancy little bottles and sell it over the counter. They could call it “A” and give it a nifty font. I’m thinking Honey Script. Get some sexy celebrity to promote the stuff and market it like those 5-hour Energy guys, only better. I have a whole […]
Mark LaFlamme
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the town
Stroking the ivories You may have heard by now that I’ve been taking piano lessons. This is correct. I’ve had but one lesson so far and yet I feel that I’m ready to perform live in Railroad Park. Please join me (by which I mean write checks in my name) for a rousing rendition of […]
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Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Mark LaFlamme, The Franklin Journal
Street Talk: How a press conference works
Wow. Three press conferences over the course of one week. Or was it four? Yeah, I think it was four, which is even more amazing. Getting invited to four press conferences in a week is like having two birthdays, Christmas and a honeymoon in the span of seven days. If you know what I mean. […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Happy Mother’s Day. Don’t burn the house down.
Mother’s Day Have a happy one, you mothers. Without you, we’d never wash behind our ears. We’d be wearing filthy underwear and you never know when we might be in an accident. Without mothers, we’d pet strange dogs, not knowing where they had been, and we’d talk to strangers. We’d go swimming directly after lunch […]
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Street Talk: Lewiston erupts, right on schedule
During the first one, I was pacing around my backyard, trying to come up with that week’s column. I smelled smoke. I heard the insistent wail of firetrucks coming from all directions. A few minutes later, the streets and the social networks were alive with the news. For the second one, I got the direct […]
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Street Talk: The world needs dorks and here I am
I won’t lie to you. I sometimes scrounge for column ideas from the news headlines, both nationally and locally. Look hard enough and you can usually find a “Duck Saves Family from Fire” or “Scientists Report that Picking Nose May Lead to Longer Life.”And honestly, how can you not grab those tidbits by the handles […]
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Talk of the town: Believe it or not, Mark had issues
Is this thing on? So, on Wednesday I went off on my motorcycle as police were chasing an accused shoplifter in the woods behind Walmart. I have this spiffy new goggle camera that can record the action with the press of a button. The problem is when the action moves indoors. Technically, for the camera […]
Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Mark LaFlamme, The Franklin Journal
Street Talk: All the news that’s fit to print, probably
It’s Friday night. I’m trying to bang out a couple of stories; one about a stalled train, another about a crack bust at a local motel. Easy stuff. I could write it in my sleep. Except that at the same time, things were getting wild in Boston. The TV news people were telling me that […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Talk of the Town: On the lookout for chime thieves, white wolves and weird clouds
CLANG, DING, CLANG On Tuesday, a woman called police to report someone was stealing her wind chimes. That’s no easy feat, chime thievery. You might as well try swiping a steel drum full of ball bearings, it makes so much noise. And I know what I’m talking about, too, after the incident of ’97. Fortunately, […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Spring: So close and yet so dagnab elusive you could cry
Ah, spring. I’ll never forget what my dear old grampa told me when I was just a wee thing no taller than the rhubarb. He sat me on his knee, gazed across his green acres and said … Holy crap, I guess I did forget. Something about spring being like a fickle woman? Something about […]