These were the days before the internet and cellphones, but I tell you, rumors of a missing kid still had a way of spreading like wildfire. Word spread through corner stores, laundromats, lumber yards, hair salons . . .
Mark LaFlamme
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Mark LaFlamme: Where are the hula hoops, harmonicas and pogo sticks?
A good day to castrate farm animals Hey, don’t look at me like that. This wasn’t my idea. I ain’t castrating anybody. I’m just pointing out that, according to The Farmer’s Almanac, now is a good time if you’re into this sort of thing. And let’s face it: is anything more embarrassing than performing a […]
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Mark LaFlamme: The truck makes the man
I’m pretty sure that simply by thinking real hard, I could grow a mustache on the spot.
Posted inbPlus, Mark LaFlamme
Mark LaFlamme: Gourd fondling enthusiasts rejoice!
Thinking before you speak ain’t no fun You know what else stinks about this work-from-home business? The constant threat of private moments being shared through Zoom or whatever god-forsaken technology presently has its giant eyes and ears open in your house. My wife, working from her home office in the living room, is always engaged […]
Posted inbPlus, Lewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Mark LaFlamme: As easy as falling off a bike
Taking it to the streets On Tuesday, one of my downtown friends reported a woman dragging a vacuum cleaner up Pine Street just a few minutes before midnight. Finally there’s someone willing to get out there and clean up the downtown. A-OK, good buddy Well, it finally happened. While attempting to fix a broken knob […]
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Mark LaFlamme: I’m just going to go ahead and punt
Polar vortex is back Oh, look. We’re calling it the “polar vortex” again. Why do you gotta be all fancy about it, weather people? Back in my day, we called that “cold air from Canada.” And we rolled our eyes when we said it, as though the Canadian people were directly responsible for this outrage. […]
Posted inLewiston-Auburn, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Bigfoot, Sizzler and the unfortunate gnu incident
I wish I could just come out and report it: Bigfoot has been spotted running amok and terrorizing town folk in the wilds of Turner. Or possibly Greene. We’re talking about the legendary, hirsute biped out there uprooting trees, slaughtering livestock and eating slow-moving hikers like they were pork rinds. Or possibly Funyuns. I’d like […]
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Mark LaFlamme: The belt, the boot and a dog with no name
In the video, the dog’s eyes gleam in wide-eyed fright as the belt comes down over and over. It is a short clip and not easy to follow. The camera pans from the apparent whipping to piles of poop in and around a Timberland work boot. In the background, a young woman can be heard […]
Posted inbPlus, sj-web
Snowbirds! Love ’em or hate ’em, they’ve stopped Maine winters cold
Readers are sleeping in their trucks, couch surfing and buying new homes in order to find warm-weather refuge in the South.
Posted inMark LaFlamme, sj-web
Mark LaFlamme: Are we having fun yet?
Man offers to pimp for undercover cop This still cracks me up. I mean, it’s one thing when you accidentally rear-end a cruiser after leaving a bar – we’ve all been there, right? – but offering to don a big hat, pinky ring and some gold chains for an undercover 5-0? That kind of thing […]