Quick. Somebody cough on me. I need to catch the flu, quick. There’s big money to be made, and brother, I want in. The National Institute of Health is looking for people to spend nine days in quarantine so their flu symptoms can be studied. The prize: three thousand bucks. If you can’t muster a […]
Street talk
Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Mark LaFlamme, The Franklin Journal
Street Talk: The joy of sledding: Weeeeeeeeeeeeee. THUD!
Ah, the sounds of winter recreation. Cold steel skate blades carving up the frozen ponds. The hearty crunch of snowshoes breaking through virgin snow. And my personal favorite, the sounds of kids on sleds streaking down the steepest hills the area has to offer. Weeeeeeeeee! THUD! “He’s hurt bad! Everybody run!” Where I come from, […]
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Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Lewiston-Auburn, The Franklin Journal
Street Talk: No parking. We mean, like ever.
It’s a miracle nobody was killed. Judging from its position in the parking lot, the car must have fallen straight out of the sky, flipping once or twice before coming to rest at its weird angle across three spaces. Not only that, but the butt end of the car was sticking out into the travel […]
Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Mark LaFlamme, The Franklin Journal
Street Talk: Learning to sashay in a bouffant wig for Halloween
As far as any of you can prove, I’ve only dressed up as a woman once in my life. I was 7 or 8 years old and Halloween totally sneaked up on me. I had wanted to go as the Six Million Dollar Man, but I wasn’t tall enough and I couldn’t find anyone willing […]
Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Mark LaFlamme, The Franklin Journal
Street Talk: Dying of baseball fever as postseason approaches
Pass me a tissue, would you, friend? Or I could just use your sleeve again and call it good. I’ve been trying to think of things that are as sad as the end of baseball season. A child at a birthday party at which no one showed up? A kitten placed in a beach pail […]
Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Mark LaFlamme, The Franklin Journal
Street Talk: Pull the blinds down on your way out
I’m not going to lie to you. I was a terrible paperboy. If you were on my route and wanted to skim the headlines before work, you were probably out of luck. I’d have it to you by noon, though, I swear. Maybe a little later if my bicycle chain broke or if I was […]
Posted inMark LaFlamme
Street Talk: I can help you with your many, many, many, many problems
Some weeks, I wish I had an advice column. No more wracking my brain for fresh ideas or fetching old columns out of the recycle bin and hoping nobody will notice. Remember the time I did that? No? Well, just forget I said anything about it, then. Yup, an advice column would be just the […]
Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Mark LaFlamme, The Franklin Journal
Street Talk: The mind wanders as educationers prattle on
So, I’m sitting in the Auburn Council Chamber of Doom and listening to the chatter from the neatly arranged group at the front of the room. Educationers, I think they call them. Or Superintenderlings. These are the men and women who decide what goes on in our schools, and my editors tell me that’s important. […]
Posted inAdvertiser Democrat, Mark LaFlamme
Street Talk: Better-late-than-never tips for surviving the storm, sort of
Good morning. It snowed. Look outside your window, and you will see evidence of this. I always back up my assertions with facts, you know. I’m a journalist. I had planned my usual report on world financial markets and parenting tips for this space, but in light of recent meteorological events, I’m making a sharp […]