Thinking things over while still recovering, two days after staying up until 3 a.m. for that sorry franchise I supposedly disowned long ago:

• OK, I get it. Pitching beats hitting in the playoffs. You can assemble a slow-pitch softball team and handle the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, Detroit Tigers and Texas Rangers any day of the week. But win a championship ring? Not happening, this or any year.

• Dear Theo, Byung-Hyun Kim is not your closer. Nor is he a starter. With not one but two postseason horror shows on his career highlight reel, he is becoming a menace to any pitching staff besmirched by his presence. Please trade him for a minor-leaguer or two while he has at least Calvin Schiraldi value, lest he devolve into Mark Wohlers and become utterly worthless. Sincerely, A Concerned Fan.

• Any minute now, Bill Mueller will decide to throw the ball to first base. Hey, Mr. Batting Champion: At least give millions of downtrodden, bleary-eyed Sox suckers around the globe the satisfaction of believing you tried to throw out Ramon Hernandez. Yeah, I know it was a perfect bunt. I know he was safe by a mile. I know the game was over. But maybe, just maybe, the guy falls flat on his grill in the thrill of the moment and never makes it to first. And what’s the worst that could happen? You hurl the ball 30 feet over Kevin Millar’s head and some unsuspecting Athletics fan gets to celebrate with an icepack.

• Now that the Sox are almost certain to be cleaning out their lockers by Tuesday morning, even if they found a way to survive Game 3, it’s time to decide who’s next for my fickle loyalties. Pro Player Stadium will freeze over before I support the Yankees, the Braves, any franchise affiliated with Barry Bonds, or the team that eliminates the Sox. And my philosophy with the Cubs is simple: If we can’t have relief after nearly a century of suffering, neither can they. That leaves me praying for a Twins-Marlins series (contract what, Mr. Selig?)

• Basically, any human being with an ounce of compassion has to root for Florida. Here’s a team nobody in its home city could pick out of a police lineup, much less recite the starting lineup. They’re managed by a mid-year replacement in Jack McKeon who might have been playing shuffleboard and mainlining Geritol before he received the call. The Marlins were an expansion team who won a world championship in five years, essentially became an expansion team all over again and rebuilt the ship in six seasons. Throw in a Sea Dogs alumnus or two for good measure and you have a perfect reason not to bail out on the postseason when the home team dies.

• Soccer really is an enjoyable game to watch, and it fosters immeasurably more patriotic fervor than watching our men’s hockey and basketball pros yawn their way to Olympic medals. Why, then, after the Women’s World Cup is complete, will that sport’s ratings on ESPN shrivel back to the same level as the World Series of Poker?

• Rush Limbaugh was right about one thing. Donovan McNabb is overrated. There are two major flaws in Limbaugh’s convoluted logic, however. Brett Favre, Rich Gannon and Chad Pennington also are overrated, not to mention white. Steve McNair and Daunte Culpepper are underrated, not to mention black. Excessive media attention has everything to do with a quarterback’s gregarious personality and the city he plays in, and absolutely zilch to do with skin color. I’m a longtime Limbaugh listener, but I can’t believe he exhibited such miserable judgment and can’t comprehend that our society is still having this discussion.

* Indirectly speaking of McNair, do you think the National Football League would let our overrated quarterback and his wounded team pull a William & Mary and forfeit today’s game against the Titans for safety reasons? Ah, wishful thinking. Tom Brady and the Patriots are in trouble that makes the Limbaugh painkiller investigation pale by comparison.

* Here’s hoping the Red Sox make Mike Bordick an offer that appeals to the .01 percent of him that doesn’t want to retire. One season in Boston would be a splendid way for the former Auburn resident to conclude his career. He’s older than Lou Merloni and not as versatile as Damian Jackson, but Bordick would make a fine insurance policy for Nomar Garciaparra and a superb late-inning defensive replacement for the Knoblauch-armed Todd Walker. Bordick may believe his skills have eroded, but it seemed like most of his key hits this past season came in Fenway Park.

Kalle Oakes is sports editor and can be reached by e-mail at [email protected].